Georgia Fathers' Rights

When it's time to divorce, put your children first - really.

2012-01-24T14:11:00.001-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Custody on Wednesday, January 18, 2012

You've probably heard it before: the reminder that when it comes to divorce, it's important to consider your children. Most people claim to want what's best for their kids, and in their hearts, they do. But in practice, particularly during divorce proceedings, this can be frustratingly difficult.

Child custody is just one of the details you and your soon-to-be ex need to work out as you prepare for your new lives apart. Although the days when custody was automatically awarded to the mother are long behind us, mothers are still more likely to be granted primary custody, and fathers often fail to stand up for their rights.

It's important to keep in mind that unless either of you has shown to be an unfit parent, children greatly benefit in the long term from having relatively equal time with both parents. Too often custody is used as a tool to exact revenge on a spouse, and while it may initially feel good for the parent awarded custody to hold that judgment over the other parent's head, in the end, it's your child who suffers most, not your spouse. At the same time, remember to stick up for yourself before assuming you won't get as much time with the kids as your ex.

Accompanying the issue of custody is child support. In the state of Georgia, child support is usually calculated using the incomes of both parents along with the amount of time their children spend with each. But what if custody didn't enter the equation, and the amount of money each parent had to work with was settled without that tug of war? If custody and support were determined separately, there might be less fighting over both.

Speaking of fighting, many parents believe that they're effectively hiding their emotions about the divorce from their children. But keep in mind how perceptive kids can be without talking directly to them. They hear you on the phone, in the next room, complaining to your friends or to yourself about your ex. Divorce almost always has a long-term negative effect on children. Your job as their parent at this time is to lessen that negativity in whatever way possible. That means both you and your ex need to treat each other as respectfully as you can, and to truly put your child's feelings ahead of your own.

The end of your marriage doesn't have to spell the end of good times for anyone -- you, your spouse or your children. But you as a parent are responsible for ensuring that the details of your divorce, whether it's time (child custody) or money (child support), don't get in the way of a happy childhood for your son or daughter.

Source: Huffington Post, "Divorce + Child Custody = Epic Failure," Ken Solin, Jan. 17, 2012

NASCAR CEO battles to keep divorce out of spotlight

2012-01-24T14:08:00.000-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted on Monday, January 23, 2012

It turns out there really are disadvantages to being rich and famous. The seemingly never-ending barrage of celebrity divorce is a clear example. While famous people may not want to air their dirty laundry, the media tend not to give them a choice. But rarely does a celebrity's effort to maintain privacy reach the level of NASCAR CEO Brian France's fight to keep his name off the presses.
North Carolina's Charlotte Observer has fought for three years to get records from France's divorce to be released publicly. Although a judge ruled that the files should be made public, France is doing everything he legally can to keep them private.

The 2008 agreement with his ex-wife provided her with $9 million in assets and about $40,000 in alimony and child support for their young twins. But he claims she breached that agreement when she showed it to a man with whom she was romantically involved and made disparaging comments about France to family and friends. He therefore went back to court to have the agreement nullified. In turn, his wife filed a list of her own grievances, charging that France hadn't been making the support payments.

France's attorneys were able to seal all court hearings and records, even though they're supposed to be public. But several months later a judge who inherited the case ruled that they should be public. She also ruled they should be opened for access to the Charlotte Observer and other media. France's attorneys appealed, and the battle has continued in the three years since then. The case is now before the state Court of Appeals awaiting initial hearings. If that court rules in favor of the newspaper, France could take it up the chain once more to the state Supreme Court.

France's attorneys argue that the concerns of protecting the couple's children and their personal and financial affairs supersede the public's right to know about them. While there is some precedent for that argument, it's mainly used to shield only certain portions of proceedings, and usually related to violence, abuse or the psychological well-being of children.

Why is the Observer so intent on gaining access? Because they might provide details about the way NASCAR and the International Speedway Corp have been managed, one reporter says. Regardless of what the documents reveal, an attorney for the paper feels the courts will continue to rule in its favor.

Source: ESPN, "NASCAR CEO fights to keep divorce private," Jan. 17, 2012

Linebacker Michael Boley faces abuse claims in custody case

2012-01-06T20:35:00.000-05:00

NFL linebacker Michael Boley's child custody case has gotten a whole lot more complicated, now that he's accused of abusing his 5-year-old son. The New York Giants player, formerly of the Atlanta Falcons, was first accused of the abuse in June, but the child's mother chose not to enter her claim into the record during a child support trial in October. Instead, she sought a 500 percent increase in the payment amount, according to Boley's Atlanta-based lawyer.

According to the mother, the abuse took place between May 30 and June 5. Police in Boley's hometown of Gadsen, Alabama, conducted an investigation and the results were turned over to the district attorney. A grand jury will rule on whether criminal charges should be filed.
The Giants are aware of the allegations, though a team spokesman wouldn't comment further and Boley is expected to continue playing. But the claims have prompted the mother of another of Boley's children to file court papers requesting that Boley be supervised when spending time with their 2-year-old son. No ruling has been made on that case yet.
Some might wonder if the abuse allegations against Boley are genuine. A five-fold increase in child support is substantial, after all, and Boley's lawyer has pointed out that there was no evidence of increased need for the child. If the mother's claims turn out to be false and are tied to her request for more money, she herself could face charges.

But this is not Boley's first brush with domestic abuse accusations. He was charged with battery in 2008 after his wife at the time told Gwinnett County police that the player became "physical" with her. As a result he was suspended one game for violating the NFL's personal conduct policy. If the accusations against Boley result in a conviction, he'll face much more serious damage to his career, his reputation and his role as a father of six children.

Source: New York Times, "Giants' Boley Is Accused of Child Abuse in Custody Case," Sam Borden, Dec. 17, 2011

Tags: child abuse, child custody, domestic violence

Comments: Leave a comment

Is late-in-life divorce a bad financial move?

2012-01-06T20:30:00.000-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Divorce on Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Statistics seem to support the theory that as the economy worsens, the divorce rate goes down. Many couples, fearing they can't make it on their own finances, opt to stay together, at least until they can afford to split. But older couples, too, are finding that divorce late in life can be a risky prospect.

As one wealth adviser puts it, the quickest way to cut your assets in half is to get a divorce. But for many people, "half" could be a whole lot less, depending on where they work or whether they work at all. Not surprisingly, women tend to fare worse financially in a late divorce. Especially in the case of older couples, they work fewer years than their husbands because they're more likely to have taken time off to raise children. That leaves them with fewer assets and less negotiating power.

With older couples having more traditional roles, women are also less likely to have managed the household finances. That can leave them panicked and unprepared to be financially independent. Couples in this situation should take action by developing individual credit histories. That means getting an individual credit card and making purchases under separate names, ensuring that when the time does come to split, each spouse will be better able to obtain a loan, get another credit card or secure an apartment.

Health care is another concern. Many people are covered by their spouse's health insurance plan, and if they divorce, that coverage will either end or become prohibitively expensive. It might actually be worth putting off a divorce until the non-covered spouse turns 65 and is eligible for Medicare. Long-term care insurance is another consideration for divorcing couples. Paying for assisted living, in-home nursing or medical equipment could be much harder to do once a spouse's income is cut in half.

Finally, take a good look at your pension, if you have one. Survivor rights to a pension could be lost in a divorce. And an ex may be entitled to 50 percent of the other spouse's Social Security benefits if they're greater amount and the couple was married for at least 10 years and divorced for at least two.
Some financial advisers even recommend legal separation as an alternative to divorce because it can eliminate a lot of the financial complications. Of course, if you've really had it with your spouse, this ease might not be worth staying married. Just make sure you know what you're gaining -- and losing -- whatever route you decide to take.

Source: Wall Street Journal, "When Divorce Unravels Your Retirement Plans," Ruthie Ackerman, Dec. 24, 2011

Lawsuit represents Georgia parents unable to pay child support

2012-01-06T20:28:00.000-05:00

Parents in Georgia who are unable to pay child support have been invited to join a class-action lawsuit demanding the state pay for lawyers to represent them if they can't afford counsel. A judge granted the class-action status to a lawsuit filed last year by five parents who had been jailed for nonpayment of child support.

Georgia is one of just a few states that don't provide lawyers for parents who can't afford them while they're held in civil contempt for nonpayment. The state says its tight budget already struggles to pay for appointed counsel in criminal cases. A spokeswoman for the state attorney general's office said it will appeal the status ruling to the Georgia Supreme Court.

According to the Superior Court judge who granted the class-action status, more than 3,500 parents have been jailed for failure to pay since the beginning of last year without legal representation. The lawsuit, if successful, would require the state to set aside funds for parents with cases brought against them by the state Department of Human Services. It would not apply to parents who hire attorneys to hold their spouses in contempt of court for failure to pay child support.

The U.S. Supreme Court made this distinction in an earlier case, in which a South Carolina man was jailed for not paying child support. The Supreme Court ruled that he was not entitled to have an attorney appointed to him because the child's mother wasn't represented by a state attorney and the DHS was not a party in the case.

According to the Supreme Court, 70 percent of child-support delinquency cases nationwide involve parents with either no income or that of less than $10,000 per year. The class-action suit claims the state is creating debtor's prisons filled with people unable to pay child support because they're unable to find work.

The lawsuit represents yet another effect of the lagging economy, both on the state budget and those who need but can't afford legal representation.

Source: Atlanta Journal-Constitution, "Judge allows thousands to join child support lawsuit," Bill Rankin, Jan. 3, 2012

iPhone GPS app assists husband in uncovering wife's cheating

2011-11-08T10:19:00.000-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Divorce on Friday, October 28, 2011

The new iPhone may be having an impact on at least one divorce case. Recently, a suspicious husband utilized an iPhone 4S app to determine that his wife was cheating on him, and the app did confirm his suspicions.

He bought a new 4S iPhone for his wife, and loaded a "Find My Friends" app onto it. His wife later told him that she would be visiting a friend in a certain part of town. The app, however, which has a GPS function, showed him that she was actually in a different part of town, visiting a man with whom she was apparently having an affair.

The app he used is designed to assist in such things as keeping track of children, staying in touch with traveling companions, or being able to find friends in order to get together with them.

The husband had previously suspected that his wife had been meeting this other man, but had been unable to prove it. The iPhone app displays the location of an iPhone user's friends and family on an onscreen map.
The wife in this case had no idea that her husband had installed the app on her new iPhone, and therefore did not shut it off for privacy. Her husband sent texts to her at various times, and it became apparent to him that she was lying to him about her location.

Screen shots of the GPS maps of his wife's locations and of their back and forth texts could possibly be used as evidence in the divorce proceeding. However, obtaining evidence in this fashion can pose legal risks. Our readers may recall a story from last December, in which a man who accessed his wife's e-mail account in order to find out if she was having an affair faced criminal charges for doing so.

Source: The Christian Post, "iPhone 5 Release: iPhone 4S App Helps Man Catch Cheating Spouse," Fionna Agomuoh, Oct. 20, 2011

How to tell your kids about your impending divorce

2011-10-03T22:16:00.000-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Divorce on Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Telling your kids about your divorce is a highly sensitive subject and should be handled as such. No matter what the age of your child, a clear understanding on how the divorce will have no bearing in the change of feelings or love towards them is what is of most importance. It's best to decide a time to break the news to them so that should they have questions or want to discuss it, that you will be available to them.

While breaking the news of a divorce isn't an easy task, honesty and calmness are important when discussing it. It will serve no use to speak poorly of the other parent or speak poorly of the marriage in general. It can be as simple as telling a child that mom and dad are deciding to get a divorce because they can no longer live with each other.

It is important that a message of this sort is followed up and emphasized with the reassurance that both parents love their child very much and that part will never change. Assure your child the divorce has nothing to do with them, because ultimately it doesn't.

Children are smart and intuitive, and they will most likely suspect trouble far sooner than you would expect. That is why honesty is the best policy. When their fears of divorce do become confirmed, there needs to be an open line of communication. Divorce is the dissolution of a marriage, but a positive parenting structure should always remain intact.

Source: Huffington Post, "So You're Getting Divorced. How Do You Break The News To The Kids?," David Wygant, Sept. 7, 2011

Frank McCourt ordered continue alimony payments

2011-09-25T16:55:00.000-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Alimony on Friday, September 23, 2011

The next phase in the complex divorce trial involving Frank and Jamie McCourt, the owners of Major League Baseball's Dodgers, is not slated to take place until November. Until then, a judge ruled that Frank McCourt must continue issuing alimony payments of $225,000 per month to his ex-wife.

The couple had been married for 30 years before divorcing. The divorce became official in October of 2010, but some issues were left unresolved.

Once details are hashed out in court, the guidelines of the alimony payments and the monthly amount he owes could change. This is just one of the issues to be discussed in the proceedings, overseen by Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon, with the aid of two retired judges. Judge Gordon is devoting so many resources to the McCourts' divorce because it deals with a large amount of assets.

The trial, slated for Nov. 17, 2011, will settle any unresolved issues remaining in the divorce.
Judge Gordon also recently supervised the alimony negotiations between lawyers representing the McCourts. Frank had been requesting a reduction in the amount of alimony he needs to pay based on the fact that his income has been reduced because the Dodgers have filed for bankruptcy.

The primary focus of the pending divorce trial is the ownership of the baseball club. Jamie McCourt is claiming half a stake in the team, which she argues should be considered marital property. McCourt is lobbying for sole ownership of the team.

If the judge grants McCourt's ex-wife a share of the team, it might force McCourt to sell the franchise. The Dodgers filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection back in June, and Major League Baseball is controlling the team's day-to-day operations until the matter is settled.
Until the bankruptcy process is completed, the judge is not going to make a decision on the status of the team's ownership.

Source: Reuters, "Dodgers owner to keep paying $225,000 a month to ex-wife," Alex Dobuzinskis, Sept. 14, 2011

Tags: McCourts, alimony, divorce, high-asset divorce, property division

Comments: Leave a comment

Many states embrace change in alimony laws

2011-08-27T16:11:00.000-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Divorce on Friday, August 26, 2011

Americans tend to have a general idea about the rate of divorce in the country, but new information gathered by the recent Census allows Americans to view divorce with a new light. According to the new Census information men and women in the South and West have higher divorce rates than men and women in other areas of the country.

According to the latest information, the general divorce rate among men and women in the United States is comparable. Divorces became final for 9.2 of every 1,000 men in the United States, and divorces became final for 9.7 of every 1,000 women. As divorces were broken down according to region the rates began to differ.

Divorces occurred at a higher rate in the South and West. In the South divorces became finalized for men at a rate of 10.2 for every 1,000 and for women at a rate of 11.1 per 1,000. Divorce rates seem to be connected to the rate of marriages in a given region. According to a family demographer at the Census Bureau, divorce rates in the South tend to be higher because marriages rates are also higher in the South. The Northeast had the lowest rate of divorces, but the rate of marriage is also lower in the region.

The report entitled, "Marital Events of Americans: 2009" is the first report to review and analyze marriage, divorce and widowhood among Americans ages 15 and older. The information used in the study was gathered from the 2009 American Community Survey. Prior studies on divorce and marriage in the United States were based on information collected from marriage and divorce certificates filed at the state level.

Source: Reuters, "More untie the knot in South, Northeast divorces least: Census," Molly O'Tolle, Aug. 25, 2011

Fathers' Rights Attorneys

2011-07-15T12:18:00.002-04:00

Single fathers successfully lead many households in Georgia

2011-07-14T19:23:00.002-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Fathers' Rights on Thursday, July 14, 2011

Fathers play a crucial role in raising children, and data from the U.S. Census backs that up. Census data showed that Georgia fathers are taking child custody following divorces and legitimation proceedings at an increasing rate. Families led by single fathers shot up 45 percent in the recent census. Those headed up by single mothers took a 35 percent hike in the last decade.

This trend is not unique to Georgia. Since 1990, the number of single dads has shot up from 1.5 million to 2.79 million. This figure does not include the number of gay men that are raising children and cannot officially marry, thus slightly skewing the figure. However, this is also an issue involved with calculating the number of families led by single mothers.

Professionals attribute this trend to the fact that society may be bucking traditional gender roles that state men focus on work and women base their daily lives around raising children. Men are finding themselves capable of becoming the primary caregiver to their children, and not designating that role for a woman.

At the same time, a number are women are discovering that they don't need- or in some cases, necessarily want - to be the sole provider for a child when a marriage disintegrates.

The increase also speaks to the fact that Georgia courts are becoming more open to giving child custody to a man. Experts say that there is little difference between single mothers and fathers as they face similar responsibilities and time constraints.

As the census data demonstrates, the important roles fathers play is becoming increasingly recognized by Georgia courts and society as a whole.

Source: Atlanta Journal-Constitution, "More single dads in charge," Gracie Bonds Staples, 18 June 2011

Terrell Owens sued in Fulton County for child support

2011-07-07T18:31:00.002-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Child Support on Thursday, July 7, 2011

In May, we discussed how the ongoing National Football League lockout could affect athletes' child support and alimony obligations. During the lockout, most players will not be earning the same amount of income they were making at the time their support obligations were calculated. This could harm their ability to pay.

Now, we are receiving reports of just such a situation in Fulton County. Melanie Paige Smith, an ex of NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens, submitted court papers on June 20 against Owens, claiming he will not pay all the $5,000 he owes her for monthly child support.

Allegedly, financial advisers for Owens have told Smith earlier that he no longer intends on paying the full sum. Smith's attorney alleged that Owens has "failed and refused to pay the full amount of child support in June 2011." Smith's attorney has also said that Smith doesn't begrudge Owens, but would like to continue receiving the amount the couple had earlier agreed upon.

In addition to the full amount of child support, Smith is also requesting that Owens pay her attorney fees and other expenses incurred in the efforts to enforce the court's May 2007 child support order.

Meanwhile, Owens is on the mend after undergoing knee surgery. However, he is a free agent and won't be able to join a new team as long as the NFL lockout is still in effect.

The NFL lockout has put many players like Terrell Owens in a precarious situation. If they simply stop paying court ordered child support, they can be held in contempt of court, which can have serious consequences. However, there are other options available for people who have suffered an involuntary loss of income. A parent who has experienced an involuntary loss of income can request a downward modification of child support payments from a court.

If you have questions about how your child support payments are affected by the loss of a job or a loss of income, an experienced family law attorney can help you understand your legal options and defend your rights in a court of law.

Source: Associated Press, "Woman says Owens fails to pay some child support," Jeff Martin, 6/29/2011

Allen Iverson's wife rebounds divorce petition

2011-06-23T21:14:00.002-04:00

Allen Iverson's wife rebounds divorce petition

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Divorce on Thursday, June 23, 2011

When a professional athlete divorces, the divorce can be very complicated and there can be a great deal of money and assets at stake.

For the second time in 16 months, the wife of Allen Iverson has filed for divorce in Fulton County Superior Court. The ex-NBA player, who recently had a run-in with law enforcement officials in Atlanta, left his high-profile NBA position in March near the time of the first divorce petition.

Court papers declare that Tawanna Iverson first approached the courts about dissolving her marriage in March 2010, not long after her husband decided to exit the Philadelphia 76ers for the rest of the season. At the time, Allen Iverson said he had to quit the team in order to care for one his five children, who was ill.

Shortly after Allen Iverson left the 76ers, and around the same time that he had been served the first divorce papers, he was stopped by Atlanta police for a failure to signal traffic violation. Police ran a check on the 2007 Lamborghini and found that Iverson, who owned the car for two years, was still driving with the original dealer tags. Reports say Iverson became agitated and used expletives in his conversation with police.

According to Allen Iverson's lawyer, the first divorce filing, which had cited that the marriage was "irretrievably broken," had been dropped. The attorney chose not to reveal why the petition was withdrawn. Both Iverson's attorney and his wife's lawyer were close-mouthed about the reasons given by Tawanna Iverson for the second petition filing.

The former NBA star has transitioned to playing pro basketball in Turkey in the last few months, although he has let the media know that he is interested in returning to the NBA. It's uncertain whether that desire remains, in light of the new divorce petition.

Source: Atlanta Journal-Constitution, "Allen Iverson's wife re-files for divorce," Alexis Stevens, 6/15/2011

More single dads in charge | ajc.com

2011-06-19T09:53:00.005-04:00

Data: Single-father families outpace ones led by single mothers

By Gracie Bonds Staples

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Andy Kuklinski and his son will likely spend this Father’s Day with friends, cooking barbecue and, well, just having fun. Except for time around their apartment complex swimming pool, it will be an otherwise uneventful day. But this 40-year-old Dunwoody dad doesn’t need much these days to be happy.

Ziad Minkara of Kennesaw has had custody of his children — twins Zaka (left) and Zayn, both 12, and Amneh, 14 — for three years. According to recent census data, the number of single-father households in Georgia is on the rise.

Family photo Jabril Mujahid-Alexander, 47, of Tucker— with his son, 5-year-old Ja’Far, and 3-year-old daughter, Halimah, at the Georgia Aquarium — sees challenges and rewards.

Just being with little Yusuf, 5, is more than enough.

In managing the day-to-day care and supervision of his son, Kuklinski recently joined the ranks of an increasing number of metro Atlanta single fathers.

According to new data from the U.S. Census Bureau, the rise in the number of Georgia families led by single fathers in the past decade outpaced the rise in single-mother families for the first time since 1970.

Indeed, among the fastest growing types of households were those that include a father and kids without a wife, which were up some 45 percent, compared to those with a mother and kids but no husband, which showed a 35 percent jump.

Experts say the numbers reflect not only a shift in court and societal attitudes about child-rearing but women for whom motherhood has become less important.

It shows that perhaps more men are able and willing to be primary caretakers — and more women are recognizing that they don’t want to or can’t, and are therefore letting their children go, said Julia McQuillan, a sociology professor at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.

McQuillan said that society has this notion that work is very important to men and parenting is very important to women, but fatherhood is very important to many men.

“To me, this trend suggests that not only do men say it’s important, they are doing it,” she said.
Matthew Weinshenker, an assistant professor of sociology at Fordham University, said the state trend mirrors what’s happening nationally, where the number of single dads has almost doubled from 1.5 million to 2.79 million since 1990. In addition, those same census figures, he said, show single dads are older than single moms on average and have higher incomes.

Weinshenker noted that what the census cannot detect is that some “single fathers” are gay men raising children with or without a same-sex partner. Estimates of how many are vary widely, he said, “but there is little doubt that increased acceptance of children raised by gay parents is a small but noticeable part of the rise in single fatherhood.”

Whether they are the sole custodial parent like Kuklinski or share custody like Jabril Mujahid-Alexander and Tom Morgan, more men are willing to bring home the bacon, fry it and feed the kids if they have to.
For his part, Kuklinski said he’s been the primary caregiver of his son since January, when he and his wife started divorce proceedings after a decade of marriage. “It’s been the best six months of my life,” he said recently.

Ziad Minkara of Kennesaw became sole caretaker of his children three years ago. He admits the family had to make adjustments.

“When something like this happens, your whole world stops, but you shift gears and go forward with the minimum impact on the daily life of the kids,” Minkara said. “That’s what’s important.”
Minkara, a real estate investor, is the father of 12-year-old twin boys and a 14-year-old daughter.
“Having to juggle everything I do and still be there for them has been hard but rewarding at the same time,” he said.

Until recently, Morgan, 44, of Sandy Springs, also had full custody of his two daughters.
“It was just kind of a hellish period,” he said immediately following the divorce from his wife.
For three years, Morgan said, he and the girls went it alone. When their mother became more stable, he said, they decided to share custody. “She has them half the time, I have them half,” he said. “It’s not easy, but it works.”

Although there are more single fathers than ever, dads say they still get odd stares when people find out they are the primary caregiver.

Jim Higley, who recently won the title of “world’s greatest dad” in a national contest, said he regularly encounters people who seemed puzzled and intrigued by his decision to raise his children alone.

Higley, widely known as the “Bobblehead Dad” from his weekly parenting column in Chicago Tribune’s TribLocal, took over sole parenting responsibilities of his children about five years ago, when he and his wife separated and then divorced.

When he first assumed that role, Higley said he tried to be supermom and superdad.

“It was an impossible task, and I constantly found myself falling short,” he said. “Somewhere along the way, I realized that, in order for me to give my kids what they required, I simply needed to focus on being the parent my kids needed me to be.”

Higley said that once he stopped worrying about how others saw him, he was able to focus on his kids and, depending on their needs, either be soft and nurturing or hard-nosed and firm.

Although not that different from many of the challenges single mothers face, single fatherhood doesn’t come without its struggles.

For instance, Mujahid-Alexander of Tucker, who shares custody with their mother of his 5-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter, said he had to turn down a swimming outing recently for his son because he didn’t believe he could watch both kids at the same time. And Kuklinski said he has had to give up a few dates.

Despite the challenges, they said giving up that place in their children’s lives was unfathomable.

“I grew up in a two-parent home. I have no concept of what it would be like without two parents and I could not see my children growing up like that,” Mujahid-Alexander said. “That wasn’t acceptable.”

Can a long commute hurt your marriage?

2011-06-01T18:37:00.002-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Divorce on Thursday, May 26, 2011

It is bad enough that Atlanta traffic eats up our time, our gas and our patience. But according to a recent study, traffic problems may also be taking their toll on our marriages.

The drive from Gwinnett County to Fulton County is not an experience that many people in the Atlanta area relish. The phrase root canal comes to mind. In fact, Atlanta is known across the country as being a hotbed for traffic jams and congestion. Experienced family law attorneys have heard their clients' many reasons for divorce, but a recent study indicates that all congested roads lead to divorce.

Researchers tracked the commutes and marriages of two million couples in Sweden from 1995 to 2000, and they found that the risk of divorce goes up 40 percent for people who have long commutes. Granted, Georgia does not share that much in common with Sweden. Georgia is hot, and Sweden is not known for its balmy weather. Additionally, long commutes are relatively new to the Swedes, while we have been dealing with them for years. However, the research does have some implications for married couples regardless of where they may live.

The researchers found the rate of divorce increased the most during the first few years of long commute times. By five years, the rate of divorce appeared to level off. The researchers also noted that most of the long commuters were men. This often compelled women to seek jobs closer to home so they could shoulder more of the household responsibilities. It appears that the addition of a commute, like other significant life changes, can add stress to a marriage and lead to divorce.

Source: The Local, "Long commutes 'bad for marriage': Swedish study," Rebecca Martin, 5/24/11

The Dodgers' McCourts go back to divorce court

2011-05-25T15:48:00.001-04:00

By Edwards & Associates posted in Property Division on Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The 2011 baseball season has seen its highs and lows for the Atlanta Braves. Although some fans have been upset by the team's inconsistent performance, they can take solace in the fact that the Braves are not facing the same troubles that the Dodgers are facing. Major League Baseball has already assigned a watchdog to the Dodgers to keep an eye on the team's day-to-day financial condition. In the latest chapter in the property division contest over the Dodgers, the former wife of Dodger's owner Frank McCourt wants the baseball franchise to be sold to keep the team from being taken over by the league.

Jamie McCourt, Frank McCourt's former wife, has filed a claim in Judge Scott Gordon's courtroom to force the sale of the Dodgers. The judge in the case is familiar to the McCourts. Last December, while presiding over the couple's divorce proceedings, Judge Gordon threw out a post-nuptial contract the McCourts had signed in 2004 that would have given Frank McCourt full control of the team.

The ex-Mrs. McCourt said the team has been mismanaged since she was fired as a Dodgers' chief executive by her ex-husband. Her goal, according to court papers, is to get the most value for the franchise for everyone involved, including her ex and the fans. A hearing for arguments on the property division issue is set for June 22.

Media reports say the team is having trouble paying the bills and there are rumors of impending bankruptcy, but Frank McCourt says he's got the financial problems solved. McCourt asserts that the team has cut a $3 billion deal with Fox television for game broadcasts that will bring in a team-saving first payment of $300 million.

The rub for McCourt is that the league must approve that television deal before it becomes reality and that's not something MLB Commissioner Bud Selig says he will do anytime soon. Selig says he won't make any decision on the matter until he gets the results of two separate investigations into the Dodgers' finances.

Source: Thomson Reuters News and Insight, "Jamie McCourt seeks immediate sale of the Dodgers," Mark Lamport-Stokes, 5/19/2011

Grigorieva to drop charges against Mel Gibson

2011-05-24T07:51:00.000-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Custody on Friday, May 20, 2011

As Mel Gibson and his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva fight their child custody battle, ugly personal conversations and events have been made public. Early in the case, Grigorieva pursued domestic violence charges against Gibson. However, Grigorieva has recently decided to drop these accusations. The couple's problems have not been much of a secret. As with many cases in the public eye, private conversations and interactions have been made public through the media.

Grigorieva says she dropped the accusations to show that she is able to be a good co-parent to the child, as the couple is currently working on a co-parenting plan. To show good faith, she is also looking to have the restraining order against Gibson lifted, so the two can once again have contact.

Gibson never admitted to the domestic violence charges, but did enter a "no contest" plea to one battery charge from last year. He will be undergoing 52 weeks of anger management counseling, and the plea allowed him to avoid admitting guilt.

Even though many things have been leaked, most of the details of the case and the sheriff's investigational findings into the couple's relationship have been tightly sealed. Attorneys on both sides state that they do not wish to make this personal information public because of the affect doing so might have on the couple's young daughter as they continue the custody battle. Because of this tight secrecy, many rumors about the couple have surfaced, and no one is sure whether Grigorieva plans to pursue a civil suit against Gibson once the custody arrangement has been determined.

The child custody dispute between Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva demonstrates how difficult child custody issues can be to resolve. Thankfully, not every child custody case is as high profile or as public as their case is. Nevertheless, every child custody dispute is important. Every child custody case presents its own unique issues and requires its own unique solutions. If you have questions about a child custody issue, an experienced family law attorney can help.

Source: CNN, "Mel Gibson's ex-girlfriend drops domestic violence accusations," Alan Duke, 5/5/2011

Support modifications for pro athletes pending

2011-05-19T20:40:00.000-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Alimony on Tuesday, May 17, 2011

National Football League players were locked out in March. National Basketball League players are expected to join them in June. Players for both groups are at the mercy of ongoing contract negotiations between team owners and players' unions. Right now, neither side is budging and sports agents are becoming edgy.

It's estimated that up to 80 percent of all pro-athletes are paying alimony, child support or both. Many players' financial advisors are reminding their clients that no pay equals no way to pay those bills and are recommending that players ask for support modifications.

Despite high salaries, many players are unprepared if the checks suddenly stop coming. Those who do pay support often have thousands to tens of thousands of dollars deducted each month.

Should an NFL player suddenly stop making an average yearly salary of $1.8 million, financial times could quickly become tough for all those dependent on that money.

When the ball teams don't pay the bills, players must pay and that includes health insurance. The NFL trade association says that could run about $2,000 each month for many. When those costs are multiplied by court-ordered health care costs for children or exes and the costs can run double, triple or more.

When a spouse or parent has a child support or alimony obligation, that obligation was initially calculated by looking at his income. When a parent or ex-spouse suffers an involuntary loss of income, those support obligations can quickly become too much to afford. Simply failing to pay child support or alimony can result in a contempt hearing and the possibility of jail time.

When a person suffers an involuntary loss of income, experienced family law attorneys understand the importance of requesting a downward modification from a family law judge. A successful request for a modification can reduce child support and alimony payments and eliminate the possibility of a contempt hearing.

Source: Bloomberg, "NFL Players Poised to Cut Alimony, Making Wives Industry Dispute Victim," Scott Soshnick, 5/9/20114

Atlanta producer sued over child support payments

2011-05-12T12:15:00.000-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Child Support on Thursday, May 12, 2011

A woman living in the Atlanta area is suing Jermaine Dupri alleging the rapper and producer has not paid her court ordered child support. In March, a Fulton County judge found Dupri to be the father of Sarai Jones' now-seven-month-old daughter based on the results of a paternity test.

Dupri was ordered to pay Jones a lump sum of $7,500 plus an additional $2,500 each month for child support. Dupri's lawyer has declined to publicly comment on the lawsuit.

Dupri has had a successful career in hip-hop as a rapper and a producer, producing multiple hits for artists, including Kriss Kross, Mariah Carey and Usher. Forbes.com ranked Dupri as one of the top earners in the industry, earning $12 million in 2006.

However, a local TV station has reported that Dupri may be in a tough financial situation. WSB-TV has reported that Dupri's Atlanta mansion was going through the process of foreclosure before the auction of property was called off. WSB-TV has also reported that Dupri may owe the Georgia Department of Revenue more than $490,000 in back taxes.

When a family court judge calculates a father's child support obligations in Georgia, the judge looks at the income of both parents. In child support cases involving high-income fathers, the amount of child support owed can be quite high. However, many high-income parents see major fluctuations in their income from year-to-year and even month-to-month. A child support obligation can rapidly become unaffordable when a father's income drastically falls.

In situations involving involuntary job loss or an involuntary income, downward modification of child support can be requested from a court. If you have questions about a modifying child support obligations, an experienced family law attorney can help.

Source: WSBTV.com, "Jermaine Dupri Sued Over Child Support Payments," 5/9/2011

Economic conditions affect divorce rate in Georgia

2011-05-06T20:09:00.002-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Divorce on Friday, May 6, 2011

Studies have shown that more marriages end in divorce during a national economic recovery than during a financial crisis. Couples thinking about leaving a marriage tend to feel too uncertain about holding onto a job, selling a home, dividing assets and the extra costs associated with getting divorced to make such a drastic move, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

During the peak of the Great Recession of 2008-2009, couples modified their budgets along with their wishes to breakup. In the recession's first year, the U.S. divorce rate dropped 24 percent, plunging by 57 percent in last year of the crisis. Since the financial recovery began, statistics for marriage dissolutions once again started to creep up, especially among wealthier Americans whose individual stock portfolios have recovered sooner than the overall economy.

The U.S. has the highest divorce rate in the world with almost 5 divorces for every 1,000 people. Twice that many people decide to marry, although during the 19-month recession, even engaged couples delayed wedding plans. A 2009 Pew research poll found that, for adults 35 and younger, 15 percent suspended marriage for economic reasons and 14 percent delayed the idea of having more children.

One area of the economy that has not yet seen a turnaround is the housing market. Many couples who had been hoping for better housing values before divorcing, have become impatient waiting for the price of homes to increase. Weighing the chance that it may take years for economic recovery to affect the value of real estate, many husbands and wives who have been thinking about calling it quits are no longer postponing the move to make permanent divorce plans.

Public opinion supports equal child custody rights for fathers

2011-05-03T18:29:00.002-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Fathers' Rights on Tuesday, May 3, 2011

In the past, we have discussed the outdated myth that child custody disputes should usually be resolved in favor of the mother. In Georgia, family law judges are required to consider the best interests of the child first and foremost. The use of the best interests of the child standard demonstrates that there has been progress made towards making custody decisions more gender neutral. However, concerns remain about how gender bias can affect fathers' rights in child custody cases and the law is often slow to change in order to catch up to prevailing views in society.

Recent studies are showing that public opinion is growing increasingly in favor of equal custody rights for both fathers and mothers.

The studies were conducted by psychology professors and students at Arizona State University. In one study, the researchers analyzed the results of elections and public opinion polls and found that there is now great public support for dividing child custody equally between both parents.

A second study went even further by questioning prospective jurors in a local jury pool. The study gave the jurors a series of hypothetical situations and asked the jurors how they would divide child custody when both parents were requesting as much time as possible. In one hypothetical situation, the mother provided 75 percent of childcare duties before the divorce. In the second hypothetical situation, the father provided 75 percent of the childcare duties. In the third hypothetical case, the mother and father divided childcare responsibilities 50-50.

The researchers found that the jurors strongly favored equal child custody for both parents. In the hypothetical case with the 50-50 split, 69 percent of jurors favored equal child custody rights for both parents. Of the rest of the respondents, almost all of the jurors favored having the child live with the mother and spend a lot of time with the father.

Interestingly, the prospective jurors favored equal time even in the hypothetical cases involving a 75-25 pre-divorce division of childcare responsibilities. The study also found no difference of opinion between male and female respondents in the study.

This study is good news for advocates of fathers' rights in that it indicates that public opinion is solidly in favor of an equal division of child custody rights when all other factors are neutral. However, it is important to note that child custody decisions are often made by judges and not by jurors. Judges must consider the best interests of the child when they make child custody decisions. Therefore, it is very important for parents to put their best cases forward by working with an experienced family law attorney when they are faced with a child custody hearing.

Source: Medical News Today, "Public Favors Equal Custody For Children Of Divorce," 5/3/2011

Halle Berry says judge was needed to resolve child custody case

2011-04-26T13:53:00.001-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Father's Rights on Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Halle Berry had been with her boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry, for about 4 years when they broke up about a year ago. The couple never married. At the time of their breakup, it appeared that they were trying to end their relationship amicably. However, the issue of child custody was not easily settled.

In 2008, Berry and Aubry had a daughter together. In December 2010, Aubry filed a petition in court seeking to have his paternity over their daughter legally recognized. This was a necessary step for Aubry because the law does not automatically recognize a father's rights if he never marries his child's mother.

After several months of legal maneuvering, Halle Berry recently announced that she and Aubry have resolved their child custody dispute peacefully. In an interview with Extra TV, Berry expressed her relief at resolving the dispute in a peaceful way and she added that the fight was never about whether or not Aubry would be able to spend time with their daughter. However, it appeared the couple was at an impasse and needed help to reach a resolution.

When recently announcing a resolution had been reached, Berry said, "We both know a child needs both her parents. But what I want to say about it is sometimes, as a couple, you reach an impasse. We needed a court and a judge to help us work out some of the delicate issues, and I'm so happy we've arrived at that place." Berry has not publicly disclosed the details of her child custody agreement.

The child custody dispute between Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry is an example of how couples can reach an amicable resolution through the court system. Although it appears that they agreed on the general issues in their case, they needed the help of the legal system to work out the details.

Source: Press Association, "Halle's happy custody resolution," 4/22/2011

Tags: Gabriel Aubry, Halle Berry, child custody, fathers' rights, legitimation

Wall Street III: Diandra Douglas' Lawsuit Never Sleeps

2011-04-20T18:27:00.001-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Property Division on Wednesday, April 20, 2011

In November, we wrote that Michael Douglas' "Wall Street" earnings were safe for a time after a judge threw out his ex-wife's lawsuit. If his ex-wife, Diandra Douglas, has her way with a renewed lawsuit over marital property division, his earnings for a film he made 10 years after their divorce will be split 50/50.

Michael Douglas returned to court this month to contest the renewed lawsuit brought in New York court involving his earnings for the 2010 film "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps." The case was previously dismissed last November when Judge Matthew F. Cooper decided that California would be the proper venue for the lawsuit.

Diandra Douglas is arguing that New York is the proper venue for her lawsuit because both she and Michael have ties to New York. She believes that she should be awarded 50 percent of Michael's earnings from the 2010 film under the divorce agreement. Their divorce agreement awarded her half of all earnings for Michael's acting work during their marriage, which officially ended in 2000.

She is arguing that because the 2010 film was a sequel to the 1987 "Wall Street" film that Michael made during their marriage, and because Michael was reprising his role as the greedy Gordon Gekko, she should be entitled to half of his earnings for that film. Michael Douglas' attorneys are arguing that the divorce agreement did not include any future films released. To date, Diandra Douglas has been awarded an estimated $50 million in the divorce settlement.

Judge Cooper noted that the original divorce papers clearly state that the California court system retains jurisdiction over the case. Michael Douglas' lawyers are arguing that not only should Diandra be "ashamed of herself" for returning to court on the matter, they believe she was awarded what she deserved when the divorce was finalized years ago.

This is a rather unexpected move for Diandra Douglas. When Diandra's lawsuit was dismissed in November, it appeared that the next logical step would be for her to file suit in California. However, it appears that Diandra really wants her day in court to be in New York.

Source: Bloomberg Businessweek, "Michael Douglas Ex-Wife Back in Court on 'Wall Street' Suit," Karen Freifeld, 4/12/2011

Ex-wife 'fries' her own claim for alimony with Facebook posts

2011-04-19T12:18:00.000-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Alimony on Tuesday, April 19, 2011

In the past, we have written about how common it is for Facebook evidence to be used in divorce cases. Statements made on Facebook and other internet sites often count as evidentiary admissions, which can be introduced in court to prove or refute a specific issue. A recent divorce case illustrates this principle in the context of an alimony claim.

The ex-wife requested lifetime alimony from her ex-husband. If she had her way, she would receive $850 per month for life. The basis for her claim was that she had been disabled in a car accident in 1997 and was unable to work.

In court, she claimed she could not work and was rarely able to leave home. If true, these facts could give her a plausible claim for alimony. After all, alimony is designed to help support an ex-spouse's standard of living after the marriage. If she could not work, then she would need help from her ex-husband.

However, the ex-wife had a belly-dancing hobby. She spent a few hours each day belly dancing at home and outside of her home. When she was not belly dancing, she spent a large amount of time writing about her belly dancing on the internet.

When a Facebook friend asked her why she wrote about belly dancing without ever posting pictures, she responded, "Gotta be careful what goes online, pookies. The ex would love to fry me with that."

Indeed, you do need to be careful what you post on the internet when you have a divorce case and a claim for alimony. However, her ex-husband did not need pictures of her belly dancing. The ex-wife's words were enough for her ex-husband to "fry" her claim for alimony. Her words alone showed that she was not disabled as she claimed.

The judge refused to give her lifetime alimony. Instead, she will receive alimony for only two years and at the reduced amount of $400 per month. The judge also awarded the husband 60 percent of the proceeds of the sale of their house and ordered her to pay thousands in attorney fees to compensate her ex-husband for the expense of defending against her unreasonable tactics.

Source: New York Post, "'Disabled' woman seeking alimony revealed to be belly dancer," Dareh Gregorian, 4/16/2011

Tags: Facebook, alimony, divorce, evidence

Abducted child found in Europe and returned to her father

2011-04-14T19:30:00.002-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Father's Rights on Thursday, April 14, 2011

Parental child abduction is a very serious issue that affects fathers' rights and the child custody rights of parents in Georgia and across the country. The problems of parental child abduction become significantly more complex when a parent takes a child out of the country in violation of a child custody order.

In the past, we have written about the problems many fathers face when their child is taken to a country that has not signed the Hague Convention on Child Abduction, which is an international treaty that requires recognition of valid child custody orders across international boundaries. Now, we are seeing reports of a story that demonstrates how international parental kidnappers are treated when a foreign country recognizes the Hague Convention.

A five-year-old girl who was abducted by her mother was missing since June 2010 has been safely returned to her father, Bijan Richard. The girl's mother had taken the girl during a parental visit and left the country. Richard received word from an informant in Germany who met the girl's mother. She told the informant conflicting stories about Richard, so the informant did some research on the internet and found that the girl had been abducted away from her father.

Acting on the informant's tip, Richard recently traveled to Germany to find his daughter, only to return to the U.S. after being unable to locate the 5-year-old girl. Last Wednesday, Richard received a call from his attorney. His daughter had been found and her mother was in police custody.

Richard flew back to Germany and met his girl for the first time in almost a year. She flew into his arms and yelled "Daddy!" Richard remarked it was almost like the day she was born all over again. Richard missed the last 10 months of his daughter's life, but he is grateful that she is now home where she belongs.

Meanwhile, the girl's mother is facing felony charges of violating a child custody order. She is presently in custody in Germany and is awaiting extradition to the United States.

Source: KWGN, "Abducted Littleton girl, 5, found in Europe, mother faces charges," Tammy Vigil, 4/12/2011

Tags: Father's Rights, Hague Convention, child custody, interference with custody, parental kidnapping

Comments: Leave a comment

Charlie Sheen's creative child custody agreement

2011-04-13T18:26:00.002-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Custody on Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Following the divorce of Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller, the two have reached a child custody agreement in what was expected to be a long and bitter battle between the two. In the tiered agreement, Sheen will get the twins every other weekend during the first 60 days. In the following 60 days, Sheen will have the boys an extra day each week. If all goes well, the remaining time will include time with Sheen every other weekend as well as Wednesday morning through Thursday morning.

One of the most important issues of the custody battle was the question of both parents' stability and ability to bring the boys up in a healthy and nurturing environment. The creative custody agreement required that each parent submit to a random drug test three times monthly. In addition, both parents must employ a nanny that will be present with them when they are spending time with their children.

In terms of Sheen's girlfriends, or "goddesses," they are not permitted to show any signs of affection to the children in public. Otherwise, they are allowed access to the children. Finally, neither Sheen nor Mueller are permitted to be photographed with another romantic partner with the twins present. This photograph clause includes Sheen's "goddesses."

This child custody agreement shows how family law attorneys can incorporate creative solutions into child custody agreements when couples are faced with tricky and potentially devastating custody battles following a divorce. If Sheen and Mueller let this matter be decided by a judge alone, the terms of child custody and visitation would likely have looked quite different.

Source: US Magazine, "Charlie Sheen, Brooke Mueller Reach Custody Agreement," 4/2/2011

Tags: charlie sheen, child custody, settlement agreements, visitation

Comments: Leave a comment

Alimony versus child support in divorce

2011-04-06T17:18:00.002-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Alimony on Wednesday, April 6, 2011

April is now in full swing in Atlanta. For the optimists among us, that means opening day of the baseball season. For the realists among us, that means tax season.

With April 15 is just around the corner, many of our readers will be curious about how divorce and taxes interact. We would like to share some of the basics of divorce and taxation with you.

A well-structured divorce takes taxes into account. One of the most common tax issues that come up in divorce is how to structure payments from one ex-spouse to the other. At first glance, alimony and child support seem very similar. After all, they are both payments sent from on ex to the other. However, alimony is very different from child support when taxes are considered.

In most cases, the amount of alimony paid is deductible for the paying spouse and it can lower the paying spouse's tax bill. In tax jargon, alimony is considered an "above the line" deduction, which means you can claim it even if you do not itemize your deductions on your tax return. However, alimony is generally considered to be taxable income for the spouse who receives it. In order to be eligible to claim an alimony deduction, the alimony must be ordered by a written divorce or separation agreement or order.

The IRS has also developed some guidelines for preventing people from using alimony to pay for what is really child support. That is because child support is not deductible on your taxes. Child support does not give the paying spouse a tax deduction and it does not count as taxable income to the receiving spouse.

When writing a divorce agreement, experienced family law attorneys understand how important the tax implications can be. If you have questions about alimony, child support or taxes in a divorce, an experienced family law attorney can help.

McCourts may be working on a divorce settlement

2011-04-05T16:37:00.002-04:00

McCourts may be working on a divorce settlement

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Property Division on Monday, April 4, 2011

In the past, we have written about the divorce between Frank and Jamie McCourt. The McCourt divorce serves as an example of how high the stakes can be in divorces when there are substantial assets involved. The McCourt divorce will ultimately determine the ownership of the Los Angeles Dodgers, one of baseball's most valuable franchises.

In December, we wrote that Judge Scott Gordon threw out a controversial property division that would have given Frank McCourt complete ownership over the team. When that happened, Jamie McCourt announced that the judge's decision gave her a 50 percent ownership stake in the team.

Immediately after the December decision, Frank McCourt's attorneys announced that they would pursue a second trial on the issue of ownership. They said they had an alternative legal theory that would give Frank complete ownership of the team.

With the 2011 Major League Baseball season underway, it now appears that the McCourts are earnestly working on reaching a settlement. Attorneys from both sides requested that a hearing scheduled for April 11 be delayed one month.

The one-month delay now gives both sides additional time to negotiate a settlement agreement that would end the property division contest between Frank and Jamie. Although we can't know exactly how the McCourts will settle their marital property dispute, past negotiations between the McCourts have focused upon Frank keeping the team and needing to compensate Jamie for her interest in the franchise. The parties appear to agree to this idea in principal, but they have been unable to agree to a dollar amount so far.

Source: Los Angeles Times, "Frank and Jamie McCourt working quietly on a settlement," Bill Shaikin, 3/29/2011

Tags: McCourts, property division, settlement agreements

Gender bias and fathers' rights in child custody cases

2011-04-01T12:46:00.005-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Father's Rights on Friday, April 1, 2011

An outdated myth involved in child custody cases is that parenting is instinctive and that it is a unique instinct found only mothers. The misconception that women are more qualified to be good parents places unfair expectations on mothers and the misconception diminishes a father's rights in child custody cases.

Courts are legally obligated to address the best interest of the child during custody cases. However, gender bias has still been known to exist, allowing custody case outcomes to sometimes favor the woman while disregarding the child's best interests.

Countless family lawyers have expressed concern over this issue stating that gender does not dictate the parenting abilities of an individual. Women should not be presumed to be a nurturing caretaker solely based on gender, and men should not be presumed to be emotionally distant or inattentive. Some lawyers have stated that, in child custody cases, the individual skills of the parents are often overlooked in favor of outdated beliefs about gender.

Unfortunately, the visitation rights of fathers can be affected by previous issues with the mother. Family lawyers have reported seeing caring, loving and involved fathers receive constricted visitation rights due to the actions of an aggressive attorney and a bitter ex.

Child custody decisions should always place the best interests of the child first and many fathers are the best possible caregiver for their children. When gender bias plays a role in child custody cases, it damages the lives of children by not considering their best interests.

Attorneys who specialize in advocating for fathers' rights understand the unique difficulties a father can experience in a child custody case. If you are a father who wants to be involved in your child's life, an experienced fathers' rights attorney can help.

Source: The Huffington Post, "The "Y" Factor: Gender Bias, Child Custody And The Great Parenting Myth," David T. Pisarra, 3/28/2011

Tags: child custody, fathers' rights, gender bias

Comments: Leave a comment

Supreme Court to decide right to counsel in child support cases

2011-03-30T11:39:00.002-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Child Support on Wednesday, March 30, 2011

In the past, we have written about the problems many poor parents face when confronted with a contempt hearing for non-payment of child support. Although, jail time is a very possible outcome in these hearings, lawyers are not provided in child support contempt hearings as they are in criminal cases that involve the threat of incarceration. Is there a constitutional right to an attorney in child support contempt hearings? A case addressing this issue is now in the process of being decided in the U.S. Supreme Court.

The case in question involves a man who had been jailed for more than one year after he failed to make child support payments. The man stated that he did not have the money to pay his child support. He believes that if he had received a court-mandated attorney then he would have avoided jail time.

Last week, the justices of the Supreme Court heard arguments on whether there is a constitutional right to legal representation during child support enforcement cases involving the possibility of jail time. Currently, the law requires that only individuals involved in criminal court cases be provided with legal representation.

Some justices felt that it is difficult to mandate a blanket ruling to cover thousands of future child support hearings. Justice Anthony Kennedy stated that creating a law that requires court-appointed lawyers during child support cases would completely alter current domestic relations court proceedings.

Attorneys against the right to counsel in child support cases expressed their concerns over requiring states to provide attorneys in child support cases. They argued that requiring states to provide legal representation might deter the states from punishing parents who fail to make child support payments.

Others have stated that there are generally no lawyers present during a child support hearing and that requiring legal representation could disrupt the effectiveness of the proceedings.

Justice Scalia mentioned that he was frustrated with the proposal to require legal representation since it dismissed any other procedures that could satisfy due process and provide both sides with a fair hearing in child support cases.

Now that oral arguments have concluded in this case, the nine Justices of the Supreme Court will make a decision in the matter over the course of the next few months. A formal decision will be released in June.

Source: The New York Times, "Justices Grapple With Issue of Right to Lawyers in Child Support Cases," Adam Liptak, 3/23/2011

Tags: child support, child support enforcement, contempt, right to counsel

Comments: Leave a comment

Divorced couples vacationing together for their kids

2011-03-26T10:22:00.000-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Custody on Friday, March 25, 2011

Action movie star Bruce Willis has taken multiple vacations with his ex-wife, and other divorced couples are beginning to vacation together.

While this type of closeness is not advisable for all divorced couples, it can be both emotionally and financially beneficial. Some couples that have vacationed together after divorce have said that the joint vacations were a great way to save money and provide excellent memories for their children. Parents have said that the joint vacations were less stressful since there was another parent to help care for the children.

Actress Meredith Morton is another advocate of joint vacations. At the time of her 2004 divorce, her son was less than a year old. The former couple decided to continue their family vacations so that they could both be available to experience their son's "firsts." Both have since remarried but they continue to take joint vacations, bringing along their new spouses.

Beverly Hills psychologist Fran Walfish said that she supports joint vacations. However, Walfish cautioned that children with divorced parents sometimes fantasize that their parents will reunite, and joint vacations could feed into that hope. She encourages parents to let children know that the trip is a special event that both parents wanted to be a part of but that it does not mean that the parents are back together.

It is recommended that former couples negotiate the terms of the trip ahead of time so that there are no issues during or after the vacation. For example, deciding who will pay for what expenses during the trip will prevent potential arguments afterward.

If the former couple is amicable and can agree on the financial terms of the trip, joint vacations can be an enjoyable experience for the children and the parents.

Source: USA Today, "Divorce-cations? Split couples travel together for the kids," Karen Schwartz, 3/19/2011

Visitation rights changed by technology

2011-03-23T22:09:00.002-04:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Custody on Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Virtual visitation orders may be changing the nature of child custody cases in Georgia.

Video conferencing and other virtual chat technologies allow separated parents to spend time with their children regardless of location or marital status. Skype conferencing software has become increasingly popular, allowing individuals to virtually connect with others through their computer. Apple has even created a video chat option that facilitates face-to-face interactions using one's iPhone or iPod.

A recent child custody case even required a mother to make her two children available for Skype sessions with their father. As a condition of the mother's move to another state, she was ordered to provide reliable Internet access to facilitate these Skype conversations. This is one of the first child custody cases where a parent was ordered to facilitate Skyping.

While Skype provides long-distance parents with an opportunity to virtually connect with their children, some are concerned about potential privacy violations. One individual allegedly used a video chat session with their child as an opportunity to spy on their former spouse.

The child was asked to carry the laptop computer around the home while the ex-spouse searched for new, expensive purchases that may have been made by the other parent. Any unnecessary, expensive purchases could have affected the payment of child support benefits.

Others have criticized virtual visitation as being less than ideal since one's former spouse may need to be present during a Skype session in order to operate the computer for a young child. Supporters of virtual visitations say that while it may not be the ideal situation it does facilitate interaction between the long-distance parent and their child.

Source: Huffington Post, "Virtual Visitation Rights A Looming Legal Question," Eric Villency, 3/7/2011

Tags: child custody, parenting time, virtual visitation, visitation

Comments: Leave a comment

Dwayne Wayne Custody Ruling - More Details

2011-03-14T11:31:00.001-04:00

By Edwards & Associates, Fathers' Rights Attorneys on Monday, March 14, 2011

By TIM REYNOLDS

The Associated Press

MIAMI - When the Miami Heat ended practice Sunday, Dwyane Wade went home to his sons.

Miami Heat's LeBron James, left, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, right, sit on the bench during the final minutes of an NBA basketball game against the Memphis Grizzlies in Miami, Saturday, March 12, 2011. The Heat won 118-85.

That will be a regular event going forward.

Ending a long and often-vengeful fight, a Chicago court has awarded Wade sole "care, custody and control" of his two sons. The boys arrived in Miami on Friday, shortly after the ruling was filed, and Wade told The Associated Press that "a huge weight is off my back."

"My life changed in a huge way," Wade told the AP. "Mentally, I've been preparing for it for over a year now. To me, it's bigger than that. For me, it shows a lot of people that you need to fight to be in your kids' lives sometimes. You fight until you can't fight any more. That's all I was trying to be, a father in his kids' lives."

Wade did not immediately announce the decision after receiving word Friday, trying to make sure that his sons fully understood what it meant first. Teammates, informed of the ruling in a locker room meeting on Saturday after Miami's victory over the Memphis Grizzlies, gave him a rousing ovation.

Wade had one of his finest all-around efforts of the season Saturday: 28 points, nine assists, five rebounds and five blocked shots.

It may not have been a coincidence.

"I heard the best news I could possibly hear," Wade said. "So I was like, 'I'm going to go out there and play free and enjoy it.'"

Wade's divorce was granted last June, after a lengthy separation. The financial portion of the divorce remains unsettled.

The boys' mother, Siohvaughn Wade, will have what the court described as "regular parenting time" on alternating weekends in Miami, as well as several other times during the year, including Mother's Day. Dwyane Wade has also repeatedly said that he wants his sons to have healthy relationships with their mother.

Still, the 102-page ruling had some sharp words for Wade's ex-wife.

"This court finds that (Siohvaughn Wade) has embarked on an unstoppable and relentless pattern of conduct for over two years to alienate the children from their father, and lacks either the ability or the willingness to facilitate, let alone encourage, a close and continuing relationship between them," read a portion of the ruling entered by Judge Renee G. Goldfarb.

Wade's attorney, James Pritikin, said the custody trial "was one of the longest ever in Cook County history."

Wade filed the motion asking for sole custody nearly a year ago, though the legal tussle has gone on considerably longer.

He and his ex-wife separated in August 2007 and it took Wade years to get the divorce, a process that was slowed by his ex-wife often changing attorneys. He also sued Siohvaughn Wade for defamation after she made unfounded allegations against him in 2009 - claims she eventually withdrew.

More claims against Dwyane Wade followed during the custody case, including that he was abusive to his children. The court found them all to be baseless.

"The court agreed the best home is with Mr. Wade and that he is also willing to foster a relationship with the children's mother," Pritikin said. "I know he will continue to be a phenomenal parent."

The court acknowledged that Wade's schedule as a professional athlete is "demanding," given the rigors of training camp, preseason, an 82-game regular season and then the playoffs.

"Is every day the same? No. Is it consistent? No," Goldfarb's ruling read. "But, to posit that (Dwyane Wade) does not have the time to be a primary parent is incorrect. He has the time if he makes the time."

Wade said all the measures are in place for as smooth a transition for his sons as possible. A school for the boys has been selected, and a plan for child-care was presented to the court, which found it acceptable.

"We had to have that, nanny care, everything already booked and planned out," Wade said. "That's the easy part."

The court ruling also had some other interesting items, including Siohvaughn Wade's contention that Dwyane Wade could have found employment in Chicago, where she has lived with the boys.

Wade met with the Chicago Bulls twice last summer when he was a free agent, but according to the ruling, Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf never met with Wade, nor did the team ever present the 2006 NBA finals MVP with a contract offer.

The ruling also states that Wade is on the U.S. roster for the 2012 London Olympics. Wade played with the U.S. team at the Athens Games in 2004 and the Beijing Games in 2008, but has not yet said publicly if he definitively plans to play at the London Games.

Wade told the AP that the waiting for the ruling has been difficult, and expressed again Sunday a desire for his ex-wife to "play a healthy role" in the boys' lives.

"I'm not going to say, 'OK, I won,'" Wade said. "I think them living here, being here, it's a great opportunity for them and I'm looking forward to it for them, to grow up with me and us learning together, how to be father-son. So I'm excited."

___

March 13, 2011 03:22 PM EDT

Dwyane Wade wins custody of sons

2011-03-13T14:43:00.000-04:00

Dwyane Wade wins custody of sons

Associated Press

MIAMI - Dwayne Wade has been awarded custody of his two sons, ending a long legal fight with his ex-wife.

Wade's children arrived in Miami on Friday, and will remain with their father going forward. Wade's Miami Heat teammates gave him an ovation when he revealed the news to them in the locker room Saturday, and the boys are expected to start at a new school in South Florida on Monday.

Wade tells The Associated Press that "a huge weight is off my back," and that he's beyond relieved that the fight is over.

The 3 million dollar custody case

2011-03-06T10:17:00.001-05:00

By TMZ

Reposted by:

By Edwards & Associates, Fathers' Rights Attorneys on Sunday, March 6, 2011

Oksana Grigorieva: WINNING!

3/6/2011 1:00 AM PST by TMZ Staff

Sources connected with Oksana tell us ... Mel must pay the $300k immediately ... per Judge Scott Gordon.

TMZ has been privy to a partial tab on how much Oksana's lawyers -- which total more than 40 -- have asked requested. That figure exceeds an incredible $3 million. Mind you ... it's a custody case involving one kid.

We don't have a tally of how much was actually rewarded, but it well exceeds $1 million, and counting.

Justice -- it ain't cheap.

Tags: None

Comments: Leave a comment

Was Mel Gibson the victim of extortion?

2011-02-25T13:41:00.000-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Custody on Friday, February 25, 2011

While the child custody case between Mel Gibson and his former girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is ongoing, the police investigation into possible extortion by Grigorieva is now in its final stages. According to Gibson's attorney, Grigorieva allegedly secretly recorded a string of Gibson's embarrassing rants and demanded more than $20 million in exchange for not releasing the tapes.

Prosecutors are now attempting to determine whether Grigorieva's demand qualifies as extortion or simply an aggressive legal negotiation strategy.

Gibson's legal team did view the demand as extortion, though even the most experienced legal experts often have trouble discerning the fine line between threatening civil litigation in order to seek a financial settlement, which is usually legal, and threatening criminal prosecution or public humiliation in order to seek the same, which is usually a crime.

Gibson's team consulted a criminal attorney, who said the actor was indeed the victim of extortion. However, the attorney cautioned that the tapes would be publicized if Gibson pressed criminal charges. Ultimately, Gibson's attorneys decided to propose an $18 million settlement for Grigorieva and their daughter, Lucia. The settlement, which would be paid out over 20 years, stipulated that Gibson and Grigorieva would share child custody. In exchange, the tape recordings would be stored in a safe deposit box.

Grigorieva's lawyers replied with a request for more money. As part of Grigorieva's demands, Gibson would owe $26 million in assets and only receive visitation rights. This deal fell through, and the tapes were ultimately released.

Grigorieva's actions illustrate how easy it can be to cross the line from aggressively negotiating to committing a crime. Had she consulted more carefully with an attorney, she may not have exposed herself to possible criminal charges.

If you find yourself in a child custody dispute, an experienced family law attorney can help you understand the process and the legal issues involved.

Source: Los Angeles Times, "A look at secret negotiations in Mel Gibson case as detectives wrap investigation," Harriet Ryan, 2/17/2011

Hundreds of children taken to Japan in child custody battles

2011-02-23T13:54:00.002-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Father's Rights on Wednesday, February 23, 2011

International child abduction occurs when a parent takes a child to a foreign country in violation of an American parent's child custody rights and often in violation of an American child custody order. Many countries have signed the Hague Convention on Child Abduction, an international treaty that promotes recognition and enforcement of child custody decisions across international borders. However, some of America's closest allies have not signed the Hague Convention.

Hundreds of American children have been abducted to Japan as a result of custody battles. Many of these children are taken by their own mothers, resulting in a clear violation of fathers' rights within the U.S. The Japanese government is especially notorious for not recognizing U.S. child custody orders, making the country an ideal haven for international child abduction.

Many individuals who take their children to Japan against child custody rulings openly lie in order to obtain passports, and the Japanese consulate rarely notices or even cares about the presence of an abducted child. Once the parent and child are in Japan, the parent is protected by the fact that the Japanese government has not signed the Hague Convention, which mandates the return of an abducted child to their lawful guardian.

Over the past 17 years, approximately 321 complaints of child abduction have been filed with the State Department. However, not one child has been returned to the U.S. from Japan through diplomatic means.

According to Janice Jacobs, the assistant secretary of state in consular affairs, officials at the highest levels of the Japanese and U.S. government are well aware of the child abduction issues. However, efforts thus far have failed to persuade the Japanese government to do the right thing and return children to the parents that have been left behind by parental child abduction.

Source: ABC News, "Abducted to Japan: Hundreds of American Children Taken," Sarah Netter and Abbie Boudreau, 2/16/2011

Tags: Hague Convention, child custody, fathers' rights, interference with custody, parental kidnapping

Comments: Leave a comment

Steve Harvey gets help from judge in dispute with ex-wife

2011-02-09T10:18:00.000-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Father's Rights on Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Without specifically saying her pants are on fire, a family law judge recently admonished Steve Harvey's ex-wife for making claims about their divorce that were less than true.

Steve Harvey and Mary Harvey divorced in 2005. Despite there being a gag order in place, Mary recently posted several videos on the internet and gave a radio interview on the Tom Joyner radio program, in which she made several damaging allegations against Steve.

Firstly, she claimed that the divorce left her destitute. Secondly, she claimed that the 54-year-old comedian and host of the "Family Feud" took her son away from her. Thirdly, she claimed that their marriage broke down because Steve was having an affair with Marjorie Bridges, his present wife.

These allegations left Steve in an awkward position, because the divorce judge ordered both of them not to discuss the case publicly. Fearing that he would be unable to respond to the allegations, Steve went back to court and enlisted the help of Judge Robert Dry, who temporarily lifted the gag order and allowed Steve to release a statement and a signed court order from the judge.

In a four-page order obtained by the New York Daily news available at the link below, Judge Dry refuted Mary Harvey's claims. He stated that Mary was not homeless or destitute. In fact, she received three homes in the divorce. She also received a $40,000 per month in alimony through March 2009, and then she received an additional $1.5 million in March 2009.

Regarding Mary's allegations about her son, Judge Dry stated that Mary willingly placed their son on an airplane and sent him to Steve Harvey without his knowledge. Steve Harvey currently has primary custody of their son. As to the allegations of an affair, Judge Dry stated that Marjorie Bridges was not a part of the original divorce and was not the reason for the end of the marriage.

In addition to being reprimanded publicly for taking liberties with the truth, Judge Dry ordered her to take down her internet videos and to cease discussing the divorce in public. A hearing to determine if Mary violated the gag order is scheduled for March 10.

If she is found to have violated the gag order, Mary Harvey may be facing sanctions. Because he worked with the court and received permission to publicly respond, it appears very unlikely that Steve Harvey would face any similar sanctions.

Source: New York Daily News, "Steve Harvey's ex-wife Mary Harvey slammed by judge for making false allegations about comedian," Shari Weiss, 2/8/2011

Tags: Steve Harvey, alimony, child custody, divorce, fathers' rights, property division

Comments: Leave a comment

Kelsey Grammer closer to becoming officially divorced

2011-02-08T11:46:00.002-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Property Division on Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Kelsey Grammer and Camille Grammer appear to be one step closer to making their divorce official. The story of Kelsey and Camille's marriage and divorce is a complicated tale involving money and fame, but we'll bring you up to speed.

Kelsey, the actor best known for his portrayal of Dr. Frasier Crane on television for 20 years, married Camille, now the star on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," in 1997. At the time of their wedding, Kelsey was among the highest paid television stars. At the peak of his earning power, Grammer earned $700,000 for every episode he filmed of "Frasier."

Although Grammer was fabulously wealthy from his television earnings, many people credit Camille with helping Grammer grow his earnings into even more wealth. Together they established Gramnet Productions, which has produced several television programs including "Medium." It is now estimated that Grammer now owns about $100 million in assets.

However, the couple separated this summer after 13 years of marriage. To complicate matters, Kelsey Grammer is engaged to Kayte Walsh, a 27-year-old flight attendant. Kelsey has wanted to finalize his divorce from Camille as quickly as possible so he can marry Kaye Walsh.

Unfortunately for Kelsey, he never signed a prenuptial agreement with Camille. Negotiations over the complex division of marital property have slowed down the process of finalizing his divorce from Camille. However, reports indicate that a family court judge will grant a final divorce this week. This will end the marriage, but it will not resolve the issue of marital property division.

Because there was no prenuptial agreement between Kelsey and Camille, Camille believes she is entitled to as much as 50 percent of the $100 million dollars. Oddly enough, Kelsey has expressed his desire to marry Kayte Walsh as quickly as possible and has expressed no desire to sign a prenuptial agreement with her.

Sources:
MSNBC.com, "Grammer's divorce to be finalized Thursday," 2/7/2011

The Huffington Post, "Camille Grammer Demands $50 Million In Divorce Settlement: Report," 12/30/2010

Tags: Kelsey Grammer, divorce, prenuptial agreements, property division

Comments: Leave a comment

The 'Oscar curse': Are Oscar winners more likely to divorce?

2011-02-06T16:24:00.002-05:00

The 'Oscar curse': Are Oscar winners more likely to divorce?

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Divorce on Friday, February 4, 2011

The 83rd Academy Awards will reward the year's best films, actors and actresses with a golden trophy affectionately referred to as "Oscar." With the Academy Awards a short three weeks away, there has been a lot of buzz about an "Oscar curse."

The Oscar curse refers to the perception that Oscar winners, especially the winners of the Best Actress award, are more likely to get divorced soon after winning. Hilary Swank, Joan Crawford, Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Bette Davis and Kate Winslet all divorced shortly after winning their Best Actress Oscars. Recently, a pair of intrepid researchers at the University of Toronto and Carnegie Mellon University put the theory of the Oscar curse to the test, only to find that it is based on a statistical reality.

Winners of the Best Actress Oscar really do have a higher chance of divorcing than the actresses who were nominated, but did not win. The researchers studied the marriages of the 751 nominees in the Best Actress and Best Actor categories from 1936 to 2010. Their results showed Best Actress winners' marriages had a median duration of 4.30 years after winning the Oscar, which was significantly shorter than the 9.51-year duration for nominees who did not win.

When the researchers looked at the duration of the Best Actor's marriages, they found no significant difference. The median duration for the Best Actor winners' marriages was 11.97 years, while Best Actor nominees had a median duration of 12.66 years.

Although there is very little chance of there actually being a cursed placed on the Best Actress Oscar, the study did show that a sudden change in status in one spouse can be one of the factors leading to a divorce.

Source: Rothman School of Management, University of Toronto, "The Oscar Curse? Study Says that Oscar Win for Best Actress Increases the Risk of Divorce," 1/28/2011

Tags: Academy Awards, Oscar curse, divorce

Comments: Leave a comment

Dwyane Wade Waits for Child Custody Ruling

2011-01-25T14:34:00.004-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Father's Rights on Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Dwyane Wade, perhaps best known for his performance on the court for the Miami Heat, has been spending a significant amount of time in a court of law in order to fight for his rights as a father. As both sides in the case made their closing arguments last week, Dwyane Wade now has to play the waiting game. A final ruling in his child custody dispute with his ex-wife is expected within the next 60 days.

Wade and his ex-wife, Siohvaughn, were high school sweethearts and they married in 2002. They have two young boys together, but they separated in 2007. In 2010, their divorce became official, but the issue of child custody has not been decided.

The battle between Dwyane and Siohvaughn has been marked by damaging accusations hurled by both sides. In October, Dwyane Wade appeared in court to refute allegations that he had abused his ex-wife and his children, abused drugs, owned guns or had a sexually transmitted disease. He also testified that his ex-wife had physically attacked him and threw objects at him.

Siohvaughn had argued that Wade was an unfit father because he prioritized his career over taking care of his boys. She has accused Wade of using his money and fame to denigrate her.

In closing arguments, Wade's attorneys repeated their main arguments that Siohvaughn had anger issues and needed psychiatric help. They believe Siohvaughn is attempting to alienate Wade from his children in an attempt to get revenge for the divorce.

While we do not know what the Judge's decision will be, the attorney appointed to represent the interests of the children sided with Dwyane Wade. He believes Wade should have full custody of the boys and that the boys have suffered significantly in the prolonged child custody dispute.

Sources:

Fox Sports, "Wade awaits custody ruling," 1/23/2011

Chicago Tribune, "Closings heard in Dwyane Wade child custody case," Dawn Rhodes, 1/21/2011

Tags: Dwyane Wade, Father's Rights, child custody

Comments: Leave a comment

'Deadbeat' parents caught in a debtor's prison - AJC

2011-01-24T08:04:00.000-05:00

'Deadbeat' parents caught in a debtor's prison

By Bill Rankin
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
On any given day, hundreds of Georgians are in jail for failing to pay child support.

Family law attorneys say many of these "deadbeats" are right where they belong. They have been found in willful contempt of court for repeatedly refusing to pay their child support, failing to try to find work or hiding their income and assets.
But many parents are being jailed even though they have no ability to pay, creating modern-day debtor's prisons, according to motions being filed in Georgia courts. The state should provide lawyers to indigent parents for their civil-contempt hearings to ensure due process, the filings say.

Leah Ward Sears, former chief justice of the Georgia Supreme Court, spells out the complexity of the issue.
"There are a lot of kids out there with parents who just don't pay, and for every dollar they're not paying someone else has to pay," Sears said. "Too often it's the taxpayer. They're taxing the court systems that have to process them and taxing the jails that have to house them. They tax the welfare rolls. It also forces extended families -- grandmothers and grandfathers -- to pay."

But it is illegal to incarcerate someone who has no ability to pay, she added. "We don't believe in debtor's prisons in this country, and that's what we're doing here in some cases."

The U.S. Supreme Court will consider the issue inMarch, when it hearsan appeal from a South Carolina man who was jailed for a year for failing to pay child support. South Carolina, like Georgia, is one of a few states nationwide that do not provide lawyers to indigent parents facing contempt hearings for failure to pay support.
The high court's ruling could change the way Georgia's courts handle child-support contempt cases and hit the state's budget.

North Carolina, for example, has been providing attorneys in child-support cases since a 1993 court ruling required the state to do so. Last year, North Carolina paid more than $3 million to appointed lawyers in child-support cases, Wendy Sotolongo, the state's parent representative coordinator, said.

Emotions run extraordinarily high in cases involving custody and support; angry ex-spouses often are all too happy to see the other parent jailed, and judges, weary of excuses from deadbeats, often oblige them.
In Georgia, after finding a parent in contempt, judges set a "purge fee," which is typically below the amount of child support that is owed. If the parent can pay the purge fee, he or she can avoid being sent to jail.
Over the past decade, 3,612 people -- each serving an average of 127 days -- were incarcerated in Gwinnett County for failing to pay child support, according to jail records.

"We've seen some who've been jailed come up with $15,000 to $20,000 in a couple of days," Sheriff Butch Conway said. "Some will languish for months and not be able to come up with $100 to $200. Some can't pay it but, sadly, I think some do have the money but just don't want to pay."

Randy Miller, a war veteran from Marietta, sits in a Floyd County jail facing a $3,000 purge fee he can't pay, he said in a statement provided to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution by his lawyers.

When Miller, 39, lost his job as an AT&T service technician in 2009, he struggled to keep up with his $452-a-month child support payments for his 16-year-old daughter. He eventually saw his home go into foreclosure and wound up with only 39 cents in the bank, according to court records. In November, he was jailed for four months for failing to pay an estimated $4,400 in child support.

"My biggest concern right now is finding some work," Miller said, noting his child-support bills are growing because of his incarceration.

Miller said he may try to re-enlist in the military when he gets out of jail as a way to secure a more consistent income, but worries he might be too old.

His lawyer, Sarah Geraghty of the Southern Center for Human Rights in Atlanta, said everyone agrees that parents must support their children. "But we can't go around locking up indigent parents because they are too poor to pay the full amount owed."

Doug Slade, an attorney who represents the state Office of Child Support Services and asked Miller be found in contempt, has said Miller is incarcerated for failing to comply with a court order.

"Our job is to seek to take care of the best interests of the child," he said. "It seems people are often more concerned about the parent who has the ability to work but is not and consequently is not taking care of the child."

Last year, the Southern Center filed Open Records Act requests with county sheriffs to find out how many parents were jailed statewide for failing to pay court-ordered child support. The center, which heard back from 135 of the state's 159 counties, found that 526 parents were incarcerated statewide.

"The people we see in jail are not wealthy 'deadbeat' dads," Geraghty said. "They are often working people who have lost jobs and become totally indigent."

In 2009, Geraghty obtained the release of Frank Hatley, a South Georgia man who had been jailed for more than a year for being too poor to pay child support -- even though the judge and the state attorney who brought the contempt charge knew Hatley was not the boy's father. Hatley should have been provided counsel at his initial contempt hearing, Geraghty said.

On March 23, the U.S. Supreme Court will hear the case involving Michael Turner, who was jailed for a year after being found in contempt for not paying more than $5,700 in his child-support for his daughter. Turner told the judge he had been addicted to drugs, and he broke his back when he finally got a job. "Now I'm off the dope and everything," he said. "I just hope that you give me a chance. ... I know I done wrong."

In its ruling last year, the South Carolina Supreme Court distinguished between civil contempt child-support jailings, whose purpose is to coerce compliance with court orders, and criminal contempt sanctions, which are punishment for disobedience and disrespect. A parent such as Turner "hold[s] the keys to his cell because he may end the imprisonment and purge himself of the sentence at any time by doing the act he had previously refused to do," the court said.

Turner, now represented pro bono by the a number of lawyers, including former U.S. Solicitor General Seth Waxman, wants the U.S. Supreme Court to overturn the South Carolina court's ruling.
When a parent lacks the ability to pay, jailing the parent is merely punitive -- and illegal -- Turner's lawyers said in court filings. The state has no interest in maintaining "a de facto debtors' prison for [parents] who genuinely cannot pay. ... As a matter of fundamental fairness, Turner should have been afforded the assistance of counsel to show that he could not [pay]."

This month, the U.S. Justice Department disagreed, telling the high court that Turner did not have a categorical right to counsel. But the agency's brief said the South Carolina decision should be overturned because parents need to be given a more meaningful opportunity to show they can't pay. Such procedures could include requiring parents to complete an understandable form disclosing their personal finances, the Justice Department said.

Seth Harp, who chairs the Georgia Child Support Guidelines Commission, said a U.S. Supreme Court ruling requiring lawyers for indigent parents "could devastate our system."

"We don't pay enough now for the defense of our criminals," said Harp, a former state legislator. "If there's no money for lawyers in child-support cases, then the possible result could be the end of the threat of jail time. And there are many people who deserve to go to jail."

Harp acknowledged that the recession has resulted in increased numbers of parents being hauled into court facing contempt. "I recognize many have lost their jobs, literally exhausted all their efforts to find work, exhausted their employment benefits," he said. "And I also know courts will often err heavily against the parent who's being brought into court. The philosophy is, 'We've got to take care of the children.'"

Lottery Winner may Have to Share Jackpot With Separated Spouse

2011-01-20T12:33:00.001-05:00

Lottery Winner may Have to Share Jackpot With Separated Spouse

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Property Division on Thursday, January 20, 2011

In a stunning combination of good luck and bad luck, a 29-year-old Idaho woman won a share of the Mega Millions jackpot earlier this month. She was one of two winners in the $380 million drawing, and could take in as much as $90 million after taxes if she elects to receive a lump sum payment. That is the good luck portion of her story.

The bad luck is that she is still legally married to her estranged husband. Several news sources have reported that the two have had several encounters with law enforcement, including a 2003 incident when both spouses were arrested for battery and jailed. The two were married in 2001 and separated a few years later. However, there is no record of divorce and they are still legally married despite their separation.

It is significant that she lives in Idaho, which is one of the nation's seven community property states. In a community property state like Idaho, a spouse is entitled to half of all marital property, including property acquired after a separation. This means that the lottery winner's husband may be entitled to up to half of the winnings.

Thankfully, Georgia is a much safer state for lottery winners who have not bothered to divorce their spouses after years of separation. Instead of being a community property state, Georgia is an equitable distribution state. This means a family law judge will consider a variety of factors including the relative contributions of spouses to the marriage. Property division in Georgia may be more complex than property division in a community property state, but it is also more just in many situations.

Source: USA Today, "Lottery winner may have to split it with estranged husband," Douglas Stanglin, 1/18/2011

Tags: community property, divorce, equitable distribution, property division, separation

Comments: Leave a comment

Nas' Child Support and Alimony Payments Cut

2011-01-12T16:32:00.000-05:00

Nas' Child Support and Alimony Payments Cut

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Divorce on Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones, better known as the actor and rapper Nas, has won an important victory in court related to his spousal and child support payments.

Nas married singer Kelis in 2005 after a two-year relationship. In April 2009, Kelis filed for divorce from Nas while she was 7 months pregnant. In July 2009, Kelis gave birth to their son and a judge ordered Nas to pay $40,000 per month in child and spousal support that same month. In December 2009, a judge ordered the payments increased to $51,000 per month.

Nas had trouble making his monthly payments and at one point faced a contempt charge after owing $350,000 in back support. As we have discussed previously in this blog, failing to pay child support and alimony can result in a contempt charge and many fathers are sent to jail as a result. When falling behind in child support, ignoring past due support is often a mistake that has serious repercussions.

When a non-custodial parent loses his or her income, child support payments do not automatically decrease. In fact, the payments will remain the same unless the parent takes the important step of informing the court. Often, the best option for fathers falling behind in their payments is to bring a motion to modify support payments.

Nas successfully convinced a family court that the bad economy has hurt his ability to earn the same amount of income as he could earn before. This month, a family law judge reduced his payments to $20,000 a month in child support and $5,000 each month in spousal support. Because of his successful motion to modify support payments, Nas will be paying less than half of what he had been required to pay in the past.

Source: MTV.com, "Nas' Child, Spousal Support To Kelis Slashed In Half," Mawuse Ziegbe, 1/7/2011

Tags: Nas, alimony, child support, divorce, modification

Comments: Leave a comment

2011-01-08T08:31:00.000-05:00

This blog is a great tool for keeping our readers informed about developments in family law. The field of family law has seen significant change over the past few decades. Grandparent visitation and child custody is an area of the law that is presently going through significant changes. A recent case from South Dakota underscores a trend in how the law treats grandparents seeking custody of their grandchildren.

Grandparent child custody has been around for a long time. However, grandparents are typically only given child custody when the parents are unavailable or unfit to be parents. South Dakota passed a law that gave grandparents child custody in certain circumstances even when the parents were not declared to be unfit.

The recent case stems from a request by grandparents to have child custody over their 4-year-old granddaughter after her parents broke up and endured substance abuse and mental health problems. They lost at trial when a judge declared the state law unconstitutional because the U.S. Constitution requires that the parents be found unfit before custody could be awarded to grandparents. They appealed that ruling to the state Supreme Court and won.

The state Supreme Court said the law was constitutional because the state law took the fitness of parents into account, and gave special consideration to fit parents. Additionally, the law presumed that children's interests are best served by being in the custody and care of their parents, unless their parents are unfit or other extraordinary circumstances exist.

The U.S. Supreme Court has said that a parent's relationship with his or her child is protected by the U.S. Constitution and parents have a fundamental right to raise their children. However, the South Dakota Supreme Court noted that the U.S. Supreme Court has never specifically required that a parent be found unfit before child custody could be given to a grandparent or family member.

Source: CBS News, "S.D. High Court Backs Grandparent Child Custody," 12/31/2010

Tags: best interest of the child, child custody, grandparent custody, grandparent visitation

Divorce Financial Planning in a Tough Economy

2011-01-04T12:08:00.000-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Divorce on Tuesday, January 4, 2011

In these tough economic times, many couples who have emotionally separated and would like to divorce are not doing so because they feel they cannot afford it. After all, retirement savings, incomes and the value of homes has fallen sharply over the last few years while the debt burden of many families has increased.

However, there are options available to people in tough financial situations who would like to afford a divorce. A team of people specializing in the financial planning aspects of divorce can help you plan for the financial impacts of a divorce. All that is needed to afford the divorce you need is some planning and some cooperation with your spouse and divorce specialists. Here are some common considerations for many families going through divorce.

Understanding the financial situation of your family is very important. The family home should be appraised and all assets and debts should be totaled up. If you suspect your spouse is concealing assets, experienced divorce attorneys team up with a forensic accountant to find hidden assets.

Getting sound legal advice is important. In addition, tax and financial advice will help you determine the best way to structure alimony payments, dividing the equity in the marital home and dividing retirement account distributions. Divorce attorneys often work together with financial planners and accountants who specialize in divorce.

Consider selling the house. It is often the case that one spouse would like to keep the family home, especially if children are involved. In many cases, one spouse alone would not be able to afford the upkeep on the home. Although the marital home was affordable on two incomes, it may quickly become unaffordable on only one spouse's income.

Planning for college tuition should not be overlooked. Many children of divorce have more difficulty affording college education and studies have shown divorced parents, on average, contribute less to their children's college tuition than couples who stay together. This is because divorced parents often overlook a college education when breaking up.

Additionally, consider collaborative divorce and mediation. Many of the best divorce settlements come in cases that do not involve a judge. Collaborative divorce is a non-adversarial process. Unlike a court case, which has defined winners and losers, a collaborative divorce works to achieve the best possible results for both spouses.

Source: Reuters, "How to afford that divorce you both want," Linda Stern, 12/6/2010

Tags: collaborative divorce, divorce, financial planning, forensic accountant, property division

Comments: Leave a comment

Is snooping in your spouse's e-mail a crime?

2010-12-28T11:50:00.003-05:00

Is snooping in your spouse's e-mail a crime?

By Edwards & Associates, Fathers' Rights Attorneys on Tuesday, December 28, 2010

By John Springer TODAYshow.com contributor

Video: Is snooping in your spouse's e-mail a crime?

TODAYshow.com contributor
updated 1 hour 3 minutes ago 2010-12-28T15:39:17

Is snooping in your spouse's e-mail a crime?

By Edwards & Associates, Fathers' Rights Attorneys on Tuesday, December 28, 2010

By John Springer TODAYshow.com contributor
Video: Is snooping in your spouse's e-mail a crime?
TODAYshow.com contributor
updated 1 hour 3 minutes ago 2010-12-28T15:39:17
A Michigan man who accessed his wife's e-mail account while she was allegedly carrying on an affair faces up to five years in prison when he goes on trial Feb. 7 on a charge he violated a state law typically used against hackers intent on making money or mayhem.

The question for the judge or jurors who will hear the case isn't whether Clara Walker gave Leon Walker, 33, permission to inspect her Google e-mail; he admits she didn't know what he was up to until her e-mail messages became an issue in their divorce and child custody battle.
But Leon Walker claims that he had every right to poke around in the computer because he was concerned that his wife's lover - the second of her two former husbands - might be abusive to her around their young children. Walker also contends that he had the right to go on the computer because he bought it, it was in his home, and she left the password lying around.

'No choice'
"She kept a copy of every password she had next to her computer in her address book," Walker told NBC News in a report that aired Tuesday on TODAY. "I felt that with the risk to my daughter and to my stepson, I had an obligation to check. I had no choice."
However, prosecutors in Michigan say Walker did have a choice, and made a bad one. They have charged him with unauthorized access to a computer in order to "acquire, alter, damage, delete or destroy property."

Kimberly P. Mitchell / AP

Leon Walker, 33, who says he learned of his wife's affair by reading her e-mail on their computer, faces trial on felony computer misuse charges. Oakland County Assistant Prosecutor Sydney Turner said the charge is justified. But because the statute doesn't specifically address the issue of a computer that is arguably a jointly owned marital asset, Walker's lawyer, Leon Weiss, is expected to argue that the statute should not be applied to domestic snooping.
If the prosecution is successful, the repercussions for the criminal justice system could be profound. "If there's going to be a concerted effort in the future to prosecute everybody who looks at somebody else's e-mail under their roof, they had better build a bunch more courthouses because we don't have enough courthouses," Weiss said.
Vote: Have you ever snooped in your significant other's e-mail?
Privacy law writer Frederick Lane told the Detroit Free Press that the law typically is used to prosecute identity theft and stealing trade secrets. He says he questions whether a wife can expect privacy on a computer she shares with her husband.

Opening the floodgates?
The problem with prosecuting people for merely reading other people's e-mails is that it is just so easy to do when the parties are in a relationship, Rikki Klieman, a criminal defense attorney and former Court TV anchor, told Natalie Morales Tuesday on TODAY.
If prosecutors around the country follow Michigan's lead and apply hacking laws to husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, the criminal courts will be deluged with cases that rightly belong before family court judges, Klieman said. "Are we going to put all of these people in prison? Are we going to prosecute people for felonies?

Video: Is snooping in your spouse's e-mail a crime? (on this page)
"If the legislature wants to enact a specific law that says 'Thou shalt not look at thy spouse's intimate e-mails,' let them go ahead and do it," she added. "You would think there is more serious crime they have to deal with."

Clara Walker declined comment when contacted by NBC News

Clara Walker declined comment when contacted by NBC News.

Holiday Tips for Divorced Families

2010-12-16T18:42:00.000-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Custody on Thursday, December 16, 2010

In our last post, we discussed parental alienation syndrome and the importance of children having both parents in their lives. Right now, the holiday season is upon us and Christmas is a short nine days away. The holidays can be a very stressful time for divorced parents.

Many of us can look back fondly on our childhood memories of the holidays, but for children of divorce their memories can be quite different if parents fight. Thankfully, Dr. Mary Anne LoFrumento, the author of the "Simply Parenting" series has some tips to help divorced parents give their children the most joyous holidays possible. We would like to share the Doctor's tips with you to keep in mind when planning for the holidays.

Putting the Children First

This time of year, it is especially important to put the needs of the children first. Bad holiday memories often come from fights between the parents over scheduling, gifts, or sharing time. If arguments arise between you and your ex-spouse, do your best to keep the kids out of it.

Show Unity

Children are very observant and they know when their parents are fighting. It is important for both parents to keep a positive attitude about the holidays and that it is still a special time of the year even if not everyone is together. It is a great gesture to help younger children pick or make a gift for the other parent.

Scheduling

Often, the divorce decree or agreement will detail what days the children spend with which parent. It is important to stick to this schedule, but if there is no schedule, it is important to plan ahead in detail.

Try to avoid splitting days between parents. Splitting days does not allow children to fully enjoy the time they spend with one parent if they are constantly worried about leaving. If families live near each other, make sure that the kids get to spend at least one full day with each parent. When families live too far apart to visit both sides, some parents will alternate years.

It is important to communicate your plans to the children and explain to them what is going on. Some children will feel guilty about leaving a parent behind. In those situations, letting the child know what you will be doing while he or she is gone will often help with that guilty feeling.

Sticking to your holiday plans and dropping of and picking up the kids on time is a top priority, except in cases of emergency.

Keeping in Touch

If you cannot be with a child on a holiday, planning for a phone call in the morning is a great way to make the child feel special, and this will help the child feel better about being away.

Avoid Gift Contests

Some parents will engage in competitive gift giving and try to give bigger and more expensive gifts than the other parent. In addition to coordinating schedules, coordinating and discussing gifts is a good way for divorced parents to avoid competition.

Source:
WPTV.com, "Keeping the 'joy' in the holiday season for families of divorce," Connie Colla, 12/15/2010

Tags: child custody, divorce, holidays, visitation

Comments: Leave a comment

Parental Alienation Syndrome Gains Increased Recognition

2010-12-14T17:52:00.002-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Father's Rights on Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Parental alienation syndrome, or PAS, is the result of one parent engaging in an effort to isolate, denigrate or alienate the other parent. Cases involving parental alienation syndrome often involve children becoming hateful or fearful of one of their parents after a divorce. The consequences to both the alienated parent and the child can have devastating life-long effects.

PAS is recognized by most family law judges, but many judges are not aware of its serious effects and do not know the best way to address and prevent PAS. However, there is a strong movement in the psychiatric community to promote awareness of PAS and classify it in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The DSM is an official catalog of mental disorders.

One of the leading proponents for including PAS in the manual is William Bernet, a psychiatrist at Vanderbilt University who has said PAS "causes horrible outcomes for children." Not only have studies shown that PAS causes long-term harm to children, children who are affected by PAS effectively lose half of their family and half of their heritage.

Psychologists say that PAS cases range from mild to severe. Mild cases involve a parent who is unaware of what he or she is doing and will stop alienating behavior when they learn how harmful it is to the child. Moderately harmful cases involve a parent treating the other parent like an adversary and asking a child to spy on the other parent. Severe cases involve narcissism or a strong fear of abandonment and an obsessive hatred for an ex-spouse. In severe cases, the alienating parent's hatred for his or her ex-spouse is stronger than the instinct to protect their children from harm.

Source: Denver Post, "Recognizing parental alienation syndrome," Mary Winter, 12/5/2010

Mel Gibson in Court Again in Child Custody Fight

2010-11-29T17:19:00.002-05:00

Mel Gibson has had a brilliant film career and seven kids with his ex-wife, but it is his eighth child he had with his ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, that has kept him in the headlines lately. In late September, Judge Scott Gordon ordered Mel Gibson to pay $20,000 per month to Oksana in child support for their one-year-old daughter, Lucia. This was an increase of the previous amount of $5,000 monthly.

This month, Gibson and Grigorieva have twice been back in family court fighting for custody of their daughter. In an earlier proceeding, Gibson argued that he should be allowed to deduct a housing payment from the $20,000 child support payment. He has been paying $6,000 monthly for the home Grigorieva shares with her mother and Lucia. Judge Gordon ordered that Gibson pay the full $20,000 in addition to the $6,000 and ordered that he pay $60,000 in back support.

Michael Douglas's Wall Street Money Safe for Now

2010-11-18T11:52:00.001-05:00

Michael Douglas's Wall Street Money Safe for Now

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Property Division on Thursday, November 18, 2010

In 1987, Michael Douglas starred as the infamous Gordon Gekko in the hit movie, "Wall Street." Gekko had an uncanny talent for separating people from their money. Now, Douglas's ex-wife, Diandra, would like to separate Michael Douglas from some of his Gordon Gekko money. From 1977 to 2000, Michael and Diandra were married and they had one child together. In 2000, they divorced and as part of their settlement agreement Michael agreed to pay Diandra half of all the proceeds from film, television, and stage performances he did during their marriage. Diandra would also argue that she is entitled to half of any income related to those performances.

As a result, she has sued Michael Douglas for half of his earnings from the sequel to "Wall Street" made this year, "Wall Street: Greed Never Sleeps." After all, Michael starred in the original while they were married and he reprised his role as Gordon Gekko in this year's film. Had the role of Gordon Gekko in the 1987 film gone to another 1980s actor like Tom Selleck as Gekko P.I. or Harrison Ford as Indiana Gekko, Michael Douglas would not have been offered the role in the 2010 sequel.

Michael Douglas takes the position that Diandra is not entitled to earnings from post-divorce movies, whether they are sequels or not. Earlier this month Diandra's lawsuit was dismissed, but this will not be the end of the story.

Although they were divorced in California, Diandra filed her lawsuit in New York. A New York judge ruled that California was the proper place for the lawsuit because California has more familiarity with the legal and factual issues on the Douglas divorce. It is important to point out that this dismissal is not a decision on the merits of Diandra's claim, so she will be able to re-file her lawsuit in a California court.

As this story demonstrates, property division in divorce can be one of the most complex issues to resolve. The Douglas divorce was finalized in 2000, yet they are still arguing over marital property division. Ultimate resolution on this issue is going to have to wait until a California court has its say. All indications are that the decision will depend on an interpretation of California's unique marital property laws and the language in the Douglas's settlement agreement.

Source: Bloomberg: Michael Douglas Ex-Wife's 'Wall Street' Suit Is Tossed Over Venue Issue; Karen Freifeld, 11/15/2010

Prenuptial Agreements: A Growing Trend in Family Law

2010-11-16T12:25:00.000-05:00

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Property Division on Tuesday, November 16, 2010

When we think of prenuptial agreements, often the first thing that comes to mind is a celebrity or a business mogul like Donald Trump. However, a recent study done by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) shows that prenuptial agreements are not just for the rich and famous anymore.

Often times, property division is one of the most contested aspect of a divorce, whether or not the couple has substantial assets. Sometimes called antenuptial agreements, premarital contracts or simply prenups, prenuptial agreements are contracts entered into before marriage between spouses. The agreements detail how property will be divided in the event of a divorce.

The AAML study reported that 73 percent of attorneys have seen an increase in prenuptial agreements over the past 5 years. Of the attorneys who responded, 52 percent also saw an increase in women requesting prenuptial agreements. Why the increase? Are people becoming less trusting in the 21st century?
Possibly, but the increase in prenups has more to do with the economic situations of the parties. Many of the people requesting prenuptial agreements are entering a second marriage after a previous divorce. They have been through one property division contest, and would like to avoid another.
However, prenuptial agreements are not just for remarrying people. Many people tying the knot for the first time are requesting prenups as well. Since 1980, we have seen the average age that people marry for the first time increase. For men, the average age has climbed two years and is now at 26.8 years old. For women, the average age has increased three years and is now 25.1 years old.

People are not marrying immediately after school as much, and are spending more time working before marrying. This gives people an opportunity to earn more, and bring more property to a marriage. When people bring more assets to a marriage, they want to protect them.

Whenever a couple divorces, a court must divide their property between the spouses. While prenups are a good tool to prevent property fights, they can often be subject to interpretation by the courts. Whether or not you have a prenuptial agreement, experienced family law attorneys understand Georgia marital property law, and can help you understand your property rights.

Source: Minneapolis Star Tribune: More couples saying 'I do' to prenups; Jeff Strickler, 10/27/2010

Lil Wayne Slapped With Paternity Suit While in Jail

2010-11-11T13:47:00.000-05:00

Lil Wayne Slapped With Paternity Suit While in Jail

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Father's Rights on Thursday, November 11, 2010

Just days ago, Lil Wayne was released from jail after serving time for an October 2009 weapons charge. While he was still in jail, Lil Wayne received an unwelcomed message. The grandmother of an 8-year-old boy has filed a paternity suit against him claiming he fathered her grandson in 2002. If he is found to be the father of the boy, he may be on the hook for child support.

A court order required him to submit to a DNA test before September 10, but since Lil Wayne did not leave prison until November 5, the judge has pushed the DNA test deadline back to December 9. It is presently unclear why it is the grandmother, and not the mother of the child, who filed the paternity action.

We don't have any information on if Lil Wayne has acknowledged this child, or would like to be a part of the boy's life. If this is indeed his child and he would like to have visitation, it may become more complicated. For example, in Georgia, paternity can be established by DNA testing. However, paternity is only part of the issue if a father would like to be involved in his child's life. Paternity does establish that a man is a child's biological father, but that only obligates him to support his child. If a father wants to have visitation or custody rights, he must also request legitimation from a court.

Legitimation is the only way, apart from marrying the mother, that a father can have legal rights regarding his child. Without legitimation, a father can be required to pay child support, but the child's mother can deny visitation and communication with the child. Legitimation has some additional benefits for the father and child, including inheritance rights and the father's name being on the birth certificate.

Source: CBS: Lil Wayne a Free Man, but Was Hit with Paternity Suit Behind Bars, Says Report; Caroline Black, 11/10/10

Mother Arrested After Defying Child Custody Order

2010-11-09T18:36:00.002-05:00

Mother Arrested After Defying Child Custody Order

On behalf of Edwards & Associates posted in Custody on Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A mother had lost custody over her 1-year-old daughter. She was ordered to turn the baby girl over to the child's father. She chose instead to make a run for it. Her plan was to pick up her other child at daycare and leave the area, but the daycare staff became suspicious and alerted authorities.

Monday morning, the mother was arrested and charged with interfering with the child custody rights of the child's father. The child, unharmed, is now being cared for by her father.

Child custody can be a highly emotional issue for obvious reasons. But, it is unfortunate the lengths some people will go in child custody fights. In this case, the mother could not or would not accept a court order and instead took the law into her own hands. Had she been successful in her attempt, she might have been committing parental kidnapping and would have prevented her baby from having her father in her life. Since she was thwarted in her attempt, she is being held in jail without bail and has greatly damaged any chance she had of regaining custody.

As this story illustrates, when a court makes a decision in the other party's favor, taking matters into your own hands is highly self-destructive. When a decision goes against you, experienced family law attorneys understand that child custody decisions are always subject to modification.

If a parent can show there has been a substantial change in circumstances that affects the welfare of the child, then the courts are willing to modify child custody orders. Some factors that can contribute to a change in circumstances include one parent moving, a change in a parent's life style, or the wishes of the child. Family law judges do have a great deal of discretion in making child custody decisions, and the process of obtaining or modifying a child custody order can seem confusing, but experienced family law attorneys are available to help.

Source: TBO.com: Pasco mom arrested after abducting daughter, authorities say; 11/8/2010

Former Major Leaguer Arrested for not Paying Child Support

2010-11-07T07:49:00.001-05:00

Former Major League outfielder Elijah Dukes has fallen on hard financial times. On Wednesday, he appeared in court, clad in an orange jumpsuit. He offered the Judge Liz Rice tears and apologies in a, but he could not offer the approximately $143 thousand he owes in child support.

At a past hearing in May, Dukes informed the court that he had spent all but $1,500 of his retirement account. The judge ordered him to pay what he had in child support, but Dukes did not pay and failed to appear at several later hearings. On Monday, Dukes was arrested on contempt of court charges.

Judge Rice said to him, "Mr. Dukes, we're not holding you in jail because we like to see you in an orange jumpsuit. All we want you to do is honor your commitment to this court and your family." She ordered Dukes to be released, set a new hearing for November 22, and ordered Dukes to bring financial records. Judge Rice added, "You can't just throw a bunch of documents at your lawyer and say, 'You do the Accounting.' You do it."

The case of Elijah Duke's illustrates what can happen when a parent ignores child support obligations. When a father's financial situation changes, and he can no longer afford his child support obligations, he cannot simply ignore it and hope it goes away. That strategy often leads to an arrest for nonpayment. Family law judges are willing to work with a father who is going through financial difficulties, but when a father does not pay, and does not inform the court, judges are also willing to issue an arrest warrant.

When a father's financial situation takes a turn for the worse and he can no longer afford to make child support payments, an experienced family law attorney can help. Family law attorneys understand that when an involuntary loss of income happens to a father, as has happened to Elijah Dukes, a lowering the child support payment is made possible by bringing a motion to modify to the court.

Source: St. Petersburg Times: Former Tampa Bay Ray Dukes offers tears, excuses, but no child support; Dan Sullivan, 11/4/2010

Dwyane Wade's custody battle begins

2010-11-03T11:57:00.002-04:00

Dwyane Wade's custody battle begins

Associated Press

The appointed attorney for Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade's two young sons has recommended to a Chicago court that the NBA star be awarded custody of the children.

Wade and ex-wife Siohvaughn Wade returned to court on Wednesday, this time to begin the trial that will decide custody of their boys, ages 8 and 3. Attorney Lester Barclay, the boys' representative, filed a pretrial memo outlining three recommendations he plans to make during trial, with one caveat being Siohvaughn Wade should agree to undergo "extensive therapy" as part of any scenario.

"At trial it is my intention, based on the best interests of my clients, the minor children ... to be with" Dwyane Wade, Barclay wrote.

The court does not need to follow Barclay's advice, though it's fairly common for the suggestions of a child's representative to at least be weighed in such cases.

Barclay's recommendations included residential custody primarily with Dwyane Wade; joint custody with at least one of the boys attending school in Florida; or sole custody for the 2006 NBA finals MVP.

The Heat guard signed a new six-year contract worth about $107 million with the Heat in July, doing so on the same day longtime friends and fellow NBA stars LeBron James and Chris Bosh joined the Miami roster.

Dwyane Wade was awarded "physical possession" of his sons in June by another judge in Chicago, who found that an emergency order was merited because Wade's time for visitation with his children "has been frustrated on an ongoing basis as a result of continual interference" by his now ex-wife. Their divorce was finalized in June, although custody and financial matters remain undecided.

In the June ruling, the court cited three instances, one in March and two in May, where Dwyane Wade's visitation schedules were altered by his ex-wife. Siohvaughn Wade has made claims that her sons are abused when in their father's custody.

Following a break for Rosh Hashanah, the trial will resume Monday with opening statements and other motions. Siohvaughn Wade is expected to be the first witness when testimony begins Tuesday.

Dwyane Wade expects the trial will last for at least a full week, which means he may not return to South Florida until just before the Sept. 28 start of Heat training camp.

Billionaire Divorce -- $100K a Month in Child Support

2010-10-22T18:20:00.003-04:00

Billionaire Divorce -- $100K a Month in Child Support
10/22/2010 10:05 AM PDT by TMZ Staff

Ex-MGM owner Kirk Kerkorian is used to writing big checks, so it may only come with a wince that he has to pay $100,000 a month in child support -- for one kid!

Kerkorian -- who had one of the nastiest and richest divorces ever from ex-wife Lisa Kerkorian -- has been fighting Lisa's bid to drastically increase support for their 12-year-old daughter.

So who woulda thunk? Kirk and Lisa settled ... and TMZ has obtained a copy of the agreement, in which Kirk agreed to double the current monthly support, which had previously been set at $50,000.

Child support king Michael Trope managed to squeeze out an additional $10,250,000 in retroactive child support for his client, dating back to 2002.

As part of the deal, Lisa agreed to drop a civil suit she filed against Kirk -- which could have been worth tens of millions of dollars.

And here's the most incredible part -- Kirk may not even be the biological daddy.

A divorce attorney who's a perfect fit

2010-10-15T20:04:00.000-04:00

A divorce attorney who's a perfect fit

How to find a family lawyer tailor-made to suit your divorce's unique needs.
By Diana Shepherd

"So far, Jane's divorce has cost us about $120,000. It'll probably be closer to $150,000 by the time the dust settles." Micheal, a Chicago-based architect, is speaking about his fiancee's extremely bitter split with her ex-husband. "We hired the best divorce lawyer money could buy, and it was worth every penny," he asserts forcefully.

On the other side of the coin is Susan, an assistant editor at a Toronto newspaper. "We each entered the marriage with nothing, and we left with nothing," says Susan. "No kids, no money, no investments, no assets. Since we managed to remain on good terms throughout our separation, we opted for a do-it-yourself divorce. Our divorce agreement basically consisted of us saying, 'You take the microwave, I'll take the TV set'," she adds.

If you're like most separated North Americans, your situation is probably somewhere between Jane's and Susan's: you've acquired some assets -- or children -- during your marriage, and you and your ex are relatively civil to one another most of the time. You've also probably never had occasion to retain a divorce lawyer before, and may have no idea how to go about finding the divorce lawyer who's right for you.
The search begins

"Unfortunately, many people spend less time searching for a family lawyer to handle their divorce than they do shopping for a new car, home, or apartment," says Lester Wallman, a partner in the New York family-law firm Wallman, Greenberg, Gasman, & McKnight and the author of Cupid, Couples & Contracts: A Guide to Living Together, Prenuptial Agreements, and Divorce (Mastermedia). "It's shocking when you consider that their future, money, property, and the custody and support of their children may be forever affected by the quality of the divorce lawyer they choose."
More information on divorce lawyers:
Choose the Best Lawyer
Your Divorce Team
A Solid Relationship
Your Divorce Lawyer: Who's In Control?
The A-Team

Finding the right divorce lawyer is critical for your divorce and you can begin your search by talking to those you know: ask for recommendations from a close friend or family member (your friends and your family -- not your spouse's) who have been through divorce themselves. If you can't get any personal recommendations, there are professional organizations that offer family-lawyer referral services, such as The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (312-263-6477, www.aaml.org), The American Bar Association -- Family Law Section (800-454-8432 or 312-263-6477, www.abanet.org), and The Law Society of Upper Canada (800-268-8326 or 416-947-3330, www.lsuc.on.ca). Ask for two or three names of local lawyers who devote their practice to family law. Also, check your phonebook for the number of your local Bar Association.

Visit a library and take a look at the "Martindale-Hubbell" -- a seven-volume compendium of lawyers categorized by state and ability. Read the biographies, and make sure the attorneys you select specialize in matrimonial or family law. You could also visit a courthouse in order to see lawyers in action; call the clerk's office to obtain dates and locations of cases and hearings.

"How much" lawyer do you actually need? The best (and most expensive) litigator money can buy, or someone who can handle the whole thing quickly and inexpensively? Is it important to find a lawyer who's "compatible" with you: one who understands and respects your thoughts and feelings about your divorce? Or can -- and more importantly, should -- you handle your divorce yourself?

Your answers to these questions will be determined by your own unique circumstances. Here are some basic guidelines to help put you on the right track.

Finding a divorce lawyer

Choosing which divorce lawyer will represent you may be the most important decision you'll make during your divorce proceedings. As in any profession, there are good divorce lawyers and bad divorce lawyers. It's up to you to do your homework -- and to ask the right questions -- to determine which group your family attorney falls into.

"The ideal family lawyer lets you participate in a discussion about your situation and is not afraid to tell you at the outset advice and information you may not want to hear," states Michael Cochrane, a Toronto-based family lawyer and divorce mediator with Ricketts Harris, and the author of Surviving Your Divorce: A Guide to Canadian Family Law (John Wiley Canada, 1999). "After spending 30 minutes with this divorce lawyer, you can answer three questions: Do I feel comfortable with this person? Do I respect his or her opinion? Does this person respect mine?"

Look for someone who:

* Practices matrimonial or family law. A divorce lawyer who specializes in taxation, even if he or she's your best friend, isn't going to be much help to you.
* Can work with other professionals. As a family-law attorney, he or she must be able to work with accountants, appraisers, and other expert witnesses to track down and evaluate assets.
* Has a lot of experience. If your divorce lawyer is fresh out of law school, make sure he or she has an experienced mentor at the firm -- one with an excellent knowledge of relevant divorce law -- to go over his/her cases.
* Is a skilled negotiator. If your case can be settled without a protracted court battle, you'll probably save a great deal of time, trouble, and money.
* Is firm. If you do end up going to court, you don't want your divorce lawyer to crumble at the first obstacle.
* Is reasonable. You want someone who'll advise you to settle if the offer is fair, and not to have the case drag on and on to satisfy your need for revenge.
* Is compatible with you. You don't have to become best friends, but you must be comfortable enough with your lawyer to be able to tell him or her some of your deepest, darkest secrets. If you can't bring yourself to disclose information relevant to the case, you'll be putting your lawyer at an extreme disadvantage. "It's important to find a family lawyer you can work with -- one who's on your wavelength," confirms James C. MacDonald, a partner in the family law practice of MacDonald & Partners in Toronto and founding chairman of the national family law section of the Canadian Bar Association. Your family lawyer isn't your therapist or confessor, but he or she does need to be aware of all pertinent facts in order to do a good job for you.
* Is totally candid. Your lawyer should be up-front about what he or she thinks your divorce will cost, if there are holes or any problems with your case, and whether or not you have any aces up your sleeve.
* Is not in conflict with your best interests. Don't share a divorce lawyer with your spouse; don't hire your spouse's best friend (even if he's a friend of yours, too), business partner, or any member of your spouse's family to represent you -- even if you're on good terms with them. Aside from the obvious conflict of interest involved, you'll have created enemies -- and probably a whole new family feud -- before your divorce settles.
* Is more than a pretty face. This may seem painfully obvious, but given our frail human nature, it bears noting here: don't choose a lawyer based on physical attractiveness. You're looking for competence -- not for a date on Saturday night.

Choose a Specialist

In each divorce, different issues come up that require special attention; so it is best to find a divorce lawyer who concentrates on the specific issues that may arise in your divorce. Here are some examples:

* Men's/Fathers' Rights. "To find a good fathers'-rights lawyer, my first piece of advice would be to pick up the Yellow Pages," says Henry James Koehler, a leading Beverly Hills fathers'-rights lawyer. "Call every lawyer listed under 'divorce' and ask them if they win custody for fathers. If they say 'yes', ask them for a consultation." Koehler also suggests asking them for phone numbers of their clients so you can call them to share ideas and problems and to learn the technique of this particular lawyer. "Ask questions like: 'Does he settle? Does he fight? Does he build a team out of himself and the client?'" Koehler advises. Some lawyers, however won't provide clients referrals in order to protect their clients' privacy.
* Women's/Mothers' Rights. As a woman, you may have the right to a share of the assets (including your husband's pension), the family business, or property attained during the the marriage, whether you worked outside the home or not. "A women's-rights attorney can help women get past the gender stereotypes to ensure they receive their fair share," says Arlene Coleman-Schwimmer of the Beverly Hills law firm Coleman-Schwimmer & Warren. "A women's right lawyer knows the language and the issues and has the experience to get past the barriers that women face in divorce."
* Custody. If you believe custody of your children will become a major battle, then going to a lawyer who concentrates on custody issues is very important. "Finding a lawyer that has an expertise in child custody will help achieve the most favorable outcome," says Susan Cartier, a partner in the Connecticut firm Cartier and De Matteo. "You want someone who has the experience and a good working knowledge of the law surrounding custody. Without this knowledge of the specific legal process the children involved could be negatively impacted."
* Small Business. If one or both of you owns a small business, you should "seek a lawyer or a firm that has knowledge of businesses and corporations as well as family law," says Gemma Allen, a partner in the Chicago law firm Ladden & Allen. "Having the knowledge will guarantee that you get your fair share. Your lawyer will have to look at the worth of the business, cash flow versus debt, and evaluate corporate partnerships, real estate, and your liability."
* International. If your divorce deals with out of state/country property, or if there is a threat of having your child removed from the country, hiring a family lawyer who knows international divorce law and policies is essential. "Not every lawyer can handle cases such as these," says Lawrence Bloom, a New York divorce lawyer who regularly handles international cases. "You need someone who has the experience and the knowledge of other countries' divorce laws and views on custody and property."
* Bankruptcy. If one or both of you is facing bankruptcy, hiring a divorce lawyer who understands bankruptcy law can save you lots of time and money. "When bankruptcy occurs within a divorce, it can complicate things," says David Neale, of the Los Angeles family-law firm Levene, Neale, Bender and Rankin. "You will want someone who has the know-how to serve your best interests -- and that includes knowing the law around bankruptcy to ensure that your case isn't put on hold due to the federal matters."

Little firm, big firm

You also need to decide whether you'd like to be represented by a sole practitioner or a full-service family-law firm. Your choice will be partially dictated by your spouse's choice: if the divorce is relatively easy and friendly, you can probably agree on what kind of representation you need. If the divorce is very bitter; if there are children, money, or large assets at stake; or if your spouse is just plain "out to get you", consider hiring a "top gun" -- whether that be a well-respected individual or a team of lawyers at a prestigious firm.

The main advantage to hiring a sole practitioner is that you know exactly who will be working on your case; in bigger firms, the lawyer you speak to initially may not be the one who does the bulk of the work on your case. You will get to know your sole practitioner well, which should make office visits or phone conversations a little more comfortable.

"Many people prefer to have this kind of one-on-one relationship with their lawyer," says Lois Brenner, a Manhattan divorce lawyer and co-author of Getting Your Fair Share (Crown Publishers). "Divorce is a very personal and psychological thing. Having a closer connection with a family lawyer allows a client to feel comfortable and offers him or her the chance to give input." A sole practitioner will usually be less expensive than a big family-law firm, although some top practitioners can be quite pricey.

If you're looking for a divorce law firm to represent you, remember that they come in all types and sizes. A firm can be three lawyers and a few paralegals, or 100 lawyers and more than 20 paralegals. You can hire a general practice firm that deals with various areas of the law and has a smaller department that handles divorce and family law, or a matrimonial firm that handles only matrimonial matters. "In this world of specialization, it can be essential to have an attorney or firm that deals with family-law cases on a regular basis," says Bernard Rinella, a Fellow of the AAML and a partner in Rinella and Rinella, one of the oldest matrimonial law firms in Illinois. "A general practitioner wouldn't know the everyday workings of divorce law that a matrimonial attorney would deal with daily."

Donald Schiller of Schiller, DuCanto and Fleck, the largest family-law firm in the US, agrees. "In a divorce, there's a lot at stake and a lot of issues. Having a family-law firm allows a client to have a huge fund of knowledge and several divorce lawyers to back them up on every aspect of divorce law."

A full-service firm can give you access to specialists in other fields if your case requires it. "You can get everything done in-house," says Malcolm Kronby, a Certified Specialist in Family Law practicing at Epstein Cole and the author of Canadian Family Law (Stoddart Publishing, 1997). A full-service firm can handle complications such as shareholders' agreements, business organization or reorganization, tax-driven settlements (including asset transfers), establishment of family trusts, real-estate transfers, or estate planning. There may be a number of people handling your case at a big firm, which has its own set of pros and cons. One advantage is that you get the experience of a senior lawyer while lower-priced associates, paralegals, and legal secretaries handle some of the standard elements of your case, saving you money.

But most importantly, Cartier stresses the importance of looking at your individual divorce lawyer's ability handle your case. "Size doesn't always matter," she says. "If your particular lawyer listens to your wants and needs and does all he can to achieve them, it doesn't matter if he is with a law firm of two or of fifty."

The initial interview

The outcome of your divorce proceedings will change the course of your life forever, so invest the time and money to find the lawyer who will do the best job for you. "When looking for a lawyer, you should interview two or three prospective professionals before deciding who'll represent you," advises Phyllis Soloman, a New York City lawyer and the former president of the National Conference of the Women's Bar Association. Remember: it's your responsibility to retain a lawyer who's not only good at his or her job, but one whose personality and outlook are compatible with yours.

Here are the questions you should ask during your initial interview:

* Do you practice family law exclusively? If not, what percentage of your practice is family law?
* How long have you been practicing?
* What is your retainer (the initial fee paid -- or, sometimes, the actual contract you sign -- to officially hire a divorce attorney)? Is this fee refundable? What is your hourly fee?
* What is your billing technique? You should know what you're paying for, how often you will be billed, and at what rates.
* Approximately how much will my divorce cost? The divorce attorney will only be able to provide an estimate based on the information you provide -- and your realistic estimation of how amicable you and you spouse are. If you think your case is extremely simple, but your spouse's divorce lawyer buries your family attorney in paperwork, you can expect your costs to increase.
* What do you think the outcome will be? Remember, you're looking for truthfulness here -- not to be told a pretty story.
* If your spouse has retained a lawyer, ask your prospective lawyer whether he or she knows this lawyer. If so, ask:"Have you worked with him or her before? Do you think the divorce lawyer will work to settle the case? And is there anything that would prevent you from working against this lawyer?"
* What percentage of your cases go to trial? You actually want to choose a family-law attorney with a low percentage here -- a good negotiator who can settle your case without a long, expensive court battle.
* Are you willing and able to go to court if this case can't be settled any other way?
* How long will this process take? (Again, the answer will be an approximation.)
* What are my rights, and what are my obligations during this process?
* At a full-service firm, ask who will be handling the case: the lawyer you're interviewing, an associate, or a combination of senior and junior lawyers and paralegals?
* Should I consider mediation? Ask if your case -- at least in the initial stages -- might be a good one for mediation. If there has been violence in the relationship, or one spouse is seriously intimidated by the other, this may not be a viable alternative.
* Should I consider Collaborative Law? "In a collaborative practice, the clients themselves conduct settlement negotiations with their lawyers acting as advisors to the clients instead of taking charge of the process," explains MacDonald, who is the founder and current president of the Toronto Collaborative Family Law Group. "Each party has to find a collaborative lawyer to represent him or her." MacDonald recommends Collaborative Law for most divorce cases -- except when violence or vengeance is involved.
* What happens now? Do I need to do anything? And when will I hear from you? Finally, if there's something you really need to know, or if you don't understand something the lawyer said, don't be afraid to ask for clarification. "There's no such thing as a stupid question," says Susan Cartier. "If there is something you want to know, ask. It's your life on the line." Bring a list of questions with you to the initial interview; that way, you'll know if all of your concerns have been handled.

Sometimes, despite their best efforts, people end up choosing the wrong lawyers. "Normally, a client will gravitate to the lawyer who will fulfill his or her needs -- whether that be for a tough litigator or low-key negotiator," observes David Wildstein, who heads the matrimonial practice at Wilentz, Goldman & Spitzer in NJ. If it's clear that you've chosen the wrong lawyer, he says, don't compound the problem by sticking with them to the bitter end. "You'll either prolong the process unnecessarily, or end up with an unacceptable settlement," says Wildstein.

What your divorce lawyer needs to know

You'll also need to provide information to your prospective lawyer during your initial interview. The better prepared you are for this meeting, the more you'll get out of it. Just as you're searching for the ideal divorce lawyer, the lawyer is hoping you'll be the ideal client: calm, businesslike, competent, and well prepared. "Ideal clients are organized; are willing to work together with me to attain their goals; and are willing to listen to my advice, pay their bills on time, and settle if possible, instead of tapping into their children's college fund," says Soloman.

Of course every case is unique, but the following checklist will give you an idea of what information your lawyer is looking for during your first meeting. You need to disclose:

* Why you are seeking a divorce. What caused your breakup? Are you sure you want to end the marriage, or is the visit to a lawyer meant to be a wake-up call to your spouse? "You need to be sure that you actually want a divorce," says Wildstein. "If you're secretly hoping for a reconciliation, then you and your lawyer are working towards different goals."
* Personal data. Bring as much personal data about you, your spouse, and your children (if any) as you can gather. Write down your names (maiden name too, if applicable); your home and work addresses and telephone numbers; your ages and places of birth; your Social Security Numbers; your states of health -- both mental and physical; your Green Card(s) and immigration papers (if applicable).
* Facts about your marriage. When and where did you get married? Did you sign a prenuptial agreement? If so, bring a copy of the agreement with you. Have either of you been married before? Bring the details of your previous divorce(s) with you.
* If there was there any abuse in the marriage. Your lawyer will need to know if you were ever a victim or a perpetrator of abuse. Despite the fear you may have revealing this kind of information, your silence will prevent your lawyer from doing his or her job in representing you. Knowing about the abuse also allows your lawyer to acquire orders of protection for you and your children.
* Whether there will be custody or access issues. Do you have children, and are there issues that will involve them -- such as custody, joint custody, and access? "If so, be prepared to discuss these issues in some detail on your first visit to your lawyer," says Philip Epstein, senior partner at Epstein Cole in Toronto. "This is more important than financial information, because until you know what's happening with regard to the children, you can't plan anything with respect to your settlement." Kronby agrees, but notes that "some couples are able to defer custody issues and get the financial issues out of the way first."
* Financial information. What assets and debts did each of you bring into the marriage? What are your incomes and what are your expenses -- jointly and individually? What are the names and addresses of your employers? How much money do both of you have invested: in the bank, the stock market, etc.? Has either of you invested in insurance or a pension plan? What property do you own (a house, car, boat, income property, etc.)? Was the property purchased before or after the marriage? Do you have a mortgage, and how much is still owed? Prior to your appointment, create a budget detailing how much you spend every month on items such as housing, food, clothing, personal grooming, gifts, vacations, etc. If you have children, and expect to be their primary caretaker, make sure you factor their costs into your budget.
* Legal documents. Bring copies of prior or pending lawsuits, bankruptcy suits, judgments, and garnishments.
* What you want to get out of your divorce. Be very specific about your goals in terms of division of property and other assets, custody and visitation, and support payments. Telling your lawyer that "I just want my fair share," or "I want to take that cheating louse to the cleaners!" will not help him or her to assess your case.

Should I handle my own divorce?

People are attracted to do-it-yourself (also known as Pro Se, which is a Latin phrase meaning "for yourself") divorces because they are supposed to save both time and money. Unfortunately, most divorces are relatively complicated -- involving complex property transfers and their tax implications; plus the issues of support, custody, and access if children or an unemployed spouse are involved. You'll also have to be able to prove grounds for your own divorce.

If you want to try the pro se route, there are some resources available to help you. Check with your local community college, adult education center, or community center to see if they offer classes on divorce. There are some low-cost legal clinics that will fill out your forms and review your separation agreement to make sure the paperwork is complete before it's filed with the court.

"Lay people can get themselves into more trouble when they try to handle their own divorce because they don't know the procedural ropes, where to file, etc.," cautions Connolly Oyler, a family lawyer and past-president of the Santa Monica Bar Association in California. "They also don't know substantively what they're entitled to. There are a hundred and one pitfalls."

If you do create your separation agreement yourselves, both you and your spouse should each retain an independent lawyer to check all papers before signing -- even if the divorce is "friendly" and you think your agreement is very straightforward.

A quality do-it-yourself kit or book will provide a good introduction to the divorce process. If your divorce is very simple and completely uncontested, a kit may be all you need. But if things turn nasty, or you suspect your spouse is trying to trick you into agreeing to a settlement that really isn't in your best interests, you'll need to consult a lawyer -- who may have to charge you even more money to undo what you did prior to retaining him/her.

For more articles on asistance with the correct divorce lawyer, visit http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Divorce_Lawyers

Georgia finally catches up with technology

2010-10-07T21:12:00.012-04:00

Georgia finally catches up with technology! Pleadings can be served electronically via pdf format. Download the law in pdf format here. www.tiny.cc/zri25

Is Facebook becoming a 'tool' for cheating spouses?

2010-07-15T07:33:00.000-04:00

By the CNN Wire Staff

(CNN) -- Ken Savage says that, at first, he welcomed his wife's new interest in Facebook.

She had recently recovered from a bout with depression and dependence on prescription drugs, and he thought reconnecting with old friends would help get her out of her rut. But he says he became increasingly suspicious of her social networking activity when she began hiding her computer screen when he entered the room.

Savage soon discovered his wife was using the site to meet up with an old boyfriend -- an increasingly common occurrence as more and more adults join Facebook.

Savage, 38, of Lowell, Massachusetts, is the creator of FacebookCheating.com, a website he started in 2009 shortly after he discovered his wife's affair in an effort "to help others cope with someone cheating on them as well as shine light upon someone who is using Facebook to cheat."

A recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 81 percent of divorce attorneys have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years. More than 66 percent of those attorneys said the No. 1 site most often used as evidence is Facebook with its 400 million registered users.

Another recent survey by Divorce-Online.com of more than 5,000 attorneys says Facebook is mentioned in about 20 percent of divorce cases.

"As everyone continues to share more and more aspects of their lives on social networking sites, they leave themselves open to much greater examinations of both their public and private lives in these sensitive situations," Marlene Eskind Moses, president of the AAML, said in a statement of the survey's results.

Savage, who says he has nothing against Facebook and uses it regularly to connect with childhood friends, told HLN's "Prime News" Wednesday that the networking site is simply "a tool for an affair."

He says that if there is trouble within a marriage or a relationship, "the affair's going to happen anyway," but Facebook "makes it much easier."

Stacey Kaiser, a psychotherapist and relationship expert, says she estimates Facebook plays a much larger factor in divorces

"It's not just your everyday affair," Kaiser told "Prime News." "When it comes to something like Facebook, you are reconnecting with a long-lost love. All those teenage feelings, those college feelings come back again, you feel young again, and it drives you to do something you don't normally do."

Savage, who is separated and living apart from his wife, says communication with your spouse is key to keeping your Facebook page as a place to network, not coordinate illicit rendezvous.

"In the beginning when we first got on Facebook, we would openly talk" about shared friends' new babies and other milestones posted on the site, Savage told HLN.

"When it got real quiet, that was the problem," he said.

Brenda Wade, a clinical therapist whose self-proclaimed mission is to cut the divorce rate by half, says the mistake most couples make is placing priorities on material things rather than partnership.

"We need to put that energy, that time, that money into the relationship," she told "Prime News." "That's where you want to feel the excitement and the rush."

Facebook is divorce lawyers' new best friend

2010-06-30T08:33:00.001-04:00

Facebook is divorce lawyers' new best friend
Whatever you share online can (and will) be used against you in court

by Leanne Italie

Forgot to de-friend your wife on Facebook while posting vacation shots of your mistress? Her divorce lawyer will be thrilled.

Oversharing on social networks has led to an overabundance of evidence in divorce cases. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or faced evidence plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites, including YouTube and LinkedIn, over the last five years.

"Oh, I've had some fun ones," said Linda Lea Viken, president-elect of the 1,600-member group. "It's very, very common in my new cases."

Facebook is the unrivaled leader for turning virtual reality into real-life divorce drama, Viken said. Sixty-six percent of the lawyers surveyed cited Facebook foibles as the source of online evidence, she said. MySpace followed with 15 percent, followed by Twitter at 5 percent.

About one in five adults uses Facebook for flirting, according to a 2008 report by the Pew Internet and American Life Project. But it's not just kissy pix with the manstress or mistress that show up as evidence. Think of Dad forcing son to de-friend mom, bolstering her alienation of affection claim against him.

"This sort of evidence has gone from nothing to a large percentage of my cases coming in, and it's pretty darn easy," Viken said. "It's like, 'Are you kidding me?'"

Neither Viken, in Rapid City, S.D., nor other divorce attorneys would besmirch the attorney-client privilege by revealing the identities of clients, but they spoke in broad terms about some of the goofs they've encountered:

— Husband goes on Match.com and declares his single, childless status while seeking primary custody of said nonexistent children.
— Husband denies anger management issues but posts on Facebook in his "write something about yourself" section: "If you have the balls to get in my face, I'll kick your ass into submission."
— Father seeks custody of the kids, claiming (among other things) that his ex-wife never attends the events of their young ones. Subpoenaed evidence from the gaming site World of Warcraft tracks her there with her boyfriend at the precise time she was supposed to be out with the children. Mom loves Facebook's Farmville, too, at all the wrong times.

— Mom denies in court that she smokes marijuana but posts partying, pot-smoking photos of herself on Facebook.

The disconnect between real life and online is hardly unique to partners de-coupling in the United States. A DIY divorce site in the United Kingdom, Divorce-Online, reported the word "Facebook" appeared late last year in about one in five of the petitions it was handling. (The company's caseload now amounts to about 7,000.)

Divorce attorneys Ken and Leslie Matthews, a husband and wife team in Denver, Colo., don't see quite as many online gems. They estimated 1 in 10 of their cases involves such evidence, compared to a rare case or no cases at all in each of the last three years. Regardless, it's powerful evidence to plunk down before a judge, they said.

"You're finding information that you just never get in the normal discovery process — ever," Leslie Matthews said. "People are just blabbing things all over Facebook. People don't yet quite connect what they're saying in their divorce cases is completely different from what they're saying on Facebook. It doesn't even occur to them that they'd be found out."

Social networks are also ripe for divorce-related hate and smear campaigns among battling spousal camps, sometimes spawning legal cases of their own.
"It's all pretty good evidence," Viken said. "You can't really fake a page off of Facebook. The judges don't really have any problems letting it in."

The attorneys offer these tips for making sure your out-loud personal life online doesn't wind up in divorce court:

What you say can and will be held against you
If you plan on lying under oath, don't load up social networks with evidence to the contrary.

"We tell our clients when they come in, 'I want to see your Facebook page. I want you to remember that the judge can read that stuff so never write anything you don't want the judge to hear,'" Viken said.

Beware your frenemies
Going through a divorce is about as emotional as it gets for many couples. The desire to talk trash is great, but so is the pull for friends to take sides.

"They think these people can help get them through it," said Marlene Eskind Moses, a family law expert in Nashville, Tenn., and current president of the elite academy of divorce attorneys. "It's the worst possible time to share your feelings online."

A picture may be worth ... big bucks
Grown-ups on a good day should know better than to post boozy, carousing or sexually explicit photos of themselves online, but in the middle of a contentious divorce? Ken Matthews recalls photos of a client's partially naked estranged wife alongside pictures of their kids on Facebook.

"He was hearing bizarre stories from his kids. Guys around the house all the time. Men running in and out. And there were these pictures," Matthews said.

Privacy, privacy, privacy

They're called privacy settings for a reason. Find them. Get to know them. Use them. Keep up when Facebook decides to change them.

Viken tells a familiar story: A client accused her spouse of adultery and he denied it in court. "The guy testified he didn't have a relationship with this woman. They were just friends. The girlfriend hadn't put security on her page and there they were. 'Gee judge, who lied to you?'"

Mr. Moms become more common

2010-06-20T11:20:00.001-04:00

Mr. Moms become more common
By Lauren Russell, CNN
June 20, 2010 7:48 a.m. EDT

Atlanta, Georgia (CNN) -- Atlanta radio personality Jimmy Baron describes the events that left him unemployed as a perfect storm. In 2006, the radio station where he had worked for 13 years was bought and the new owner cut his pay by 60 percent.

He quit and began looking for work. A few offers came in, but not what he was looking for. Then, the nation's economy tanked, and -- for the next three years -- all the offers dried up.

Baron describes that period as horrendous, emasculating, one of the worst of his life.

Finally, late last year, he got the offer he was looking for as a morning DJ at a classic rock station in Atlanta. But on his first day back in the workforce, he realized there was a downside to the new job -- he hadn't been in the house when his son woke up, and he missed his old role of Mr. Mom.

While unemployed, Baron and his wife, who worked from home, had been equal caregivers.

"You get to know a child on a completely different level," he said about the hours he spent each day with 3-year-old Micah.

As women's pay has approached -- and sometimes exceeded -- that of men, Mr. Moms lounging at the playground are becoming more common.

Fathers are the primary caregivers for about a quarter of the nation's 11.2 million preschoolers whose mothers work, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that 8.6 million men were unemployed in May, 34 percent more than the 6.4 million women. The Great Depression was the last time men's unemployment figures were that much higher than those for women, said Stephanie Coontz, the director of research and public education for the Council on Contemporary Families. The Chicago, Illinois-based organization describes itself as a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to providing the press and public with the latest research and best-practice findings about American families.

And during the 1930s, when housework was considered women's work by many, even unemployed men tended to be less involved in homemaking and child care, she said.

But early data suggest that men aren't rejecting homemaking at the same rates in this downturn, she said.

And some men are leaving the work force by choice. An estimated 158,000 married fathers with children younger than 15 left the labor force for at least a year to care for their family while their wives went to work, according to a Census Bureau report based on data from last year.

But a father being at home more -- whether by choice or, like Baron, because he has no alternative -- can be a hard thing for the man as well as the outside world to accept. Neighbors wonder when the man will quit babysitting and get a real job, and teachers still address childrearing concerns to the woman, Coontz said. Finally, women tend to have a hard time viewing their husbands as equals and not just assistants in the home, she said.

"It's because we have had, for 150 years, emphasis on men as experts, as breadwinners, and women as experts on nurturing," Coontz said.

During his three years off the job, Baron said, he found it difficult to answer the inevitable question, "So, what do you do?" in social situations. He also found it difficult to get used to being the only man when he and Micah joined his friends at at the pool or park.

During one of those long afternoons, he vowed that he would help other Mr. Moms when he returned to a job. Recently, he launched monthly "Dads between Gigs" get-togethers for care-giving dads and their children.

"Regardless of how dads end up in the situation of being caregiver, whether they choose it or not, it's still kind of a mom's world taking care of kids all day," Baron said. The events are a good way for men to get their needed guy time, he said.

Coontz said that a father becoming more involved with his children is a positive thing for everyone involved.

"Boys are more empathetic, and girls grow up more confident in their ability to tackle nonstereotype fields, like math or science," Coontz said about children with involved dads.

The best family dynamics develop when a wife and husband share the roles of caregiver and breadwinner, Coontz said. Partners who share responsibilities tend to have more stable marriages than do parents who play exclusive roles, she said.

It's healthy for both partners to have a life in and out of the house, and it's good for the children to see that as well, she said.

Coontz said men may want to consider another incentive in deciding whether to lend a hand with the laundry: Women tend to feel more intimate when their partners are involved with childcare and housework.

We're Moving! (Not very far)

2010-05-24T20:41:00.000-04:00

We are moving to the 12th floor of our same building. Check on our progress here, which will be updated daily.

10 tips for fathers going through a divorce

2010-04-24T16:31:00.003-04:00

#9 – Put the new romance on the back burner

One of the most common things that turns a normal (read: inexpensive) divorce into an contentious (read: expensive) one is bringing another woman into the situation. Your current wife is already pissed off, so why may it worse by throwing your new, yoga-teaching girlfriend in her face? She might get so upset that she keeps you from your children. Is it right? No. Will it happen? You bet.

There is only so much your attorney can do to calm down the situation once you have inflamed it. Your parents are in town, and they would love to see their grandkids, but it’s not your parenting time. How likely is it that your ex will be nice and switch times with you if you brought new girlfriend to pick up the children one week after you separate. Be smart. The best decision is to wait until the divorce is concluded before you engage in a new relationship. Or, at the very least, be discreet.

10 tips for fathers going through a divorce

2010-04-08T22:13:00.004-04:00

This is the 1st part of a ten-week series giving fathers advice on how to best manage their divorce cases.

Tip #10. Get a memory

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. ~From the television show The Wonder Years

I can't tell you how many men who are in my office for divorce consultations who look like a deer caught in headlights when I ask them their date of marriage or their children's birthdates. At the risk of stereotyping, women tend to be much better at knowing this information off the top of their heads. They know their children's birthdays, their social security numbers, teacher's names, principal's name, daycare worker's name, the pediatrician's name...you get the point.

Men, for some reason tend not to know this information. Referring to your son's teacher as "the cute blonde" will not win you any points in court. How do you expect to win primary or joint custody if you do not learn and retain this valuable information? Do you know your child's favorite toy, or did you always let your wife pack the to go bag? Do you know your children's favorite foods or the only way to stop your 2 year old from crying incessantly in the car is to give her Apple Cinnamon Cheerios? An involved dad knows these things.

Keep a journal if you have to of important dates, events and tidbits about your children. This will help you refresh your recollection later if you have to testify in court.

Going Through a Divorce - Everything You Need to Know to Protect Yourself and Your Children

2010-03-17T18:34:00.002-04:00

Going Through a Divorce - Everything You Need to Know to Protect Yourself and Your Children

By S Matthews

Going through a divorce is never an incredibly happy time, but there are ways to make it as stress-free as possible - and protect yourself and your interests while you're at it. Even if your divorce is a relatively amicable one, you still want to get the best deal you can, and hopefully protect yourself and your assets now and in future.

Top Ways to Protect Your Finances
Don't forget to change your will. Many couples forget to do this after the divorce. Don't.

When an imminent divorce is inevitable, there are simple ways to protect yourself from the financial fracas that will ensue. Get your finances in order and you'll be on your way to surviving the battle without any deep monetary scars...
* Open an individual checking account. Do this as soon as possible. Not only will it help your credit rating, but will also help you sort out who has what.

* Establish as much credit as possible. Credit is vital when it comes to borrowing money, and credit scores can affect future properties you may rent and even the type of job you get. Make sure you don't suffer any fall-out from your spouse's lousy credit rating, and do as much as possible to establish a solid credit rating of your own. If you've never had a credit card of your own before - and many women haven't, believe it or not - get on the horse as soon as possible.

* Track down credit cards. Make sure your spouse isn't charging things to your name, or on a joint credit card, which could affect your rating. Track down and cancel any joint accounts. This can be difficult if they are not being sent to your home address. You can freeze accounts by telling the credit card companies that you are going through a divorce.

* Take care of the mortgage and other loans. If you will continue living in the house it's important that only your name is on the mortgage, and vice versa. The divorce proceedings will sort out who is paying for what. Transfer the car to one name as well through the Department of Motor Vehicles, and sort out who is paying for what loans.

* Keep track of all investments etc. Go through all you and your spouse own with a fine-toothed comb, and make copies of every single financial document you unearth. This can include mortgage and life insurance documents, 401(k) statements, tax returns, bank statements, money market accounts etc. Also, make sure your name is on every legal document, especially the title or deed of property the two of you bought together.

* See if you qualify for alimony, support and/or maintenance. Support isn't based solely on gender - both men and women can get it. Similarly, you don't need to have kids to receive it. Don't make assumptions, get the facts. Speak to a divorce lawyer as soon as you can.

* Save money. You never know when you will need it, so now is not the time to be a spendthrift. Squirrel away what you can in your individual bank account - it might soon come in handy!

* Consider mediation as opposed to litigation. A lot less time-consuming - and costly. If it works, this is usually the best - and more financially viable way - to come to an agreement for everyone concerned.

* Don't forget to change your will. Many couples forget to do this after the divorce. Don't.

* Hire a financial planner with a specialty in divorce. They can advise you what to do next as far as asset division is concerned based on your current situation.

Top Ways to Protect Your Children
Your children should be top priority when it comes to a divorce, so don't make things worse by acting badly. Children do best when both parents stay involved in their lives, so keep this in mind next time you feel like telling your ex to jump off a tall building or move to the North Pole. Here are other ways to make your kids deal better with your divorce...

* Explain that it's not their fault. Don't let your kids grow up thinking they could have done something to prevent Mommy and Daddy from splitting up. Tell them it has nothing to do with them, and that both of you still love them more than anything.

* Answer their questions as honestly as possible. That doesn't mean telling them that Daddy had 12 affairs and is in love with a woman half his age, and that he enjoys dressing up in high heels and a pink feather boa when they're asleep. What it does mean, however, is being as honest as possible, while not involving them in things they don't really need to know.

* Keep things as amicable as possible in front of them. Airing petty grievances in front of the children and arguing constantly will only backfire in the long run.

* Aim for shared custody arrangements, if possible. Children benefit from being with both parents. Make sure they have two happy, harmonious home environments and try to have both parents as involved in their lives at school as possible. Encourage your child to maintain a close relationship with the other parent, and encourage each other to be as active as possible in your children's lives, without canceling appointments and trying always to be on time.

* Avoid the temptation to quiz your children about what is going on in the other parent's life, and don't use them to carry messages back and forth between you. They don't need the added responsibility, and it's not fair on them to feel they have to take sides or be in control of your relationship with your ex. Also, resist the urge to say bad things about the other parent in front of the kids.

Top Ways to Protect Yourself Personally
When all is said and done, you still have a life to live - on your own. Flying solo can be a liberating experience, once you've got over the shock of the divorce. Make it easier on yourself by following these simple tips...

* Make sure you are employable. If you haven't worked for years, don't panic. Speak to a career counselor or life coach about re-doing your resume. Maybe all you need is to take a few courses or have an internship to get back on top of things. Maybe not: your life experience will count for more than you think!

* Have lots of friends and family around you. Don't suffer things on your own. Seeing a film or visiting an art gallery can take your mind off your problems, if only for a few hours. Ask for support if you need it and try to enjoy the little things in life.

* Seek new friends. Many married couples rely on other married couples for companionship, and often are left high and dry when they venture out on their own. Starting a new hobby can help you develop new interests and meet new people while you're at it.

* Resist the rebound. While having new relationships can be fantastic, don't jump into a full-time romance immediately. Take the time to look around and enjoy yourself. Don't let friends set you up on a date, at least for a while. Being on your own is important - for now.

Going through a divorce is never easy, but there are ways to minimize both the pain and the hassle. If you play your cards right you can make the whole process run as smoothly as possible - and make sure your future is financially secure as well. Take your time and get the help you need, and keep up a positive, optimistic outlook. Good luck!

Sarah Matthews is a writer for Yodle, a business directory and online advertising company. Find a Healer at Yodle Local or more Health & Medicine articles at Yodle Consumer Guide.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=S_Matthews

Georgia Fathers' Rights Attorneys

2010-03-16T20:23:00.001-04:00

Facebook, MySpace and Twitter Evidence in Custody Battles and Divorce

2010-03-04T11:21:00.001-05:00

In this new age of technology, watch what you put on the web. Did you friend your soon-to-be ex wife's aunt and forget about it because she never posts? If so, then you can be guaranteed she will be gleefully printing pictures and posts on your page and handing them to her attorney for evidence against you. Did you playfully suggest on Facebook that you want to "leave the kids at home and get smashed tonight?" Then, be prepared for it to turn up as Exhibit A at your trial.

Edwards & Associates recently won custody for a father at trial. Included as primary exhibits were her Facebook and Myspace pages. Of particular interest were several scantily clad pictures of the young mother of 4, and posting of her announcing that she "goes to the club too much" and that she "was drinking IN THE CAR on the way to the club." She turned bright red and said that was her personal business. The Court did not agree and stripped her of custody and ordered her to pay child support. Here is a great recent article printed in the AJC.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Facebook a treasure trove for divorce lawyers

By Larry Hartstein

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
9:55 a.m. Thursday, February 11, 2010

As if divorce lawyers needed more ammunition.

In a new survey, 81 percent say they've seen an increase in the use of Facebook and other social networking sites for evidence in divorce cases. Notes to lovers, compromising photos -- Facebook provides a wealth of incriminating information.

"Every client I've seen in the last six months had a Facebook page," said Ken Altshuler, a longtime divorce lawyer from Portland, Maine, who is first vice president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. "And the first piece of advice I give them is to terminate their page immediately."

Sixty-six percent of the attorneys surveyed by the AAML called Facebook the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence, followed by MySpace (15 percent) and Twitter (5 percent).

"Going through a divorce always results in heightened levels of personal scrutiny," said Marlene Eskind Moses of Nashville, the group's president. "If you publicly post any contradictions to previously made statements and promises, an estranged spouse will certainly be one of the first people to notice and make use of that evidence."

Altshuler cited a couple cases in which Facebook proved key:

A woman was getting divorced from her alcoholic husband and seeking custody of their kids. The husband told the judge he had found God and hadn't had a drink in months, but Altshuler found a recent Facebook photo showing him "holding a beer in each hand with a joint in his mouth," the lawyer said.

Then there was the custody case in which his client's ex-wife claimed to be engaged. She was trying to show she'd provide a stable household for the kids.

But the same woman had posted on Facebook that she'd broken up with her abusive boyfriend and "if anybody had a rich friend to let her know," Altshuler said.

The ex-husband's friend gave him the posting; he was still Facebook friends with the ex-wife.

"People don't think about who has access to their Facebook page," Altshuler said. "A good attorney can have a field day with this information."

2009-09-29T21:09:00.000-04:00

American jailed in Japan for trying to reclaim his children

Had this custody drama played out in the United States, Christopher Savoie might be considered a hero -- snatching his two little children back from an ex-wife who defied the law and ran off with them.
A Tennessee court awarded Christopher Savoie custody of his son, Isaac, and daughter, Rebecca.

A Tennessee court awarded Christopher Savoie custody of his son, Isaac, and daughter, Rebecca.

But this story unfolds 7,000 miles away in the Japanese city of Fukuoka, where the U.S. legal system holds no sway.

And here, Savoie sits in jail, charged with the abduction of minors. And his Japanese ex-wife -- a fugitive in the United States for taking his children from Tennessee -- is considered the victim.

"Japan is an important partner and friend of the U.S., but on this issue, our points of view differ," the U.S. Embassy in Tokyo said Tuesday. "Our two nations approach divorce and child-rearing differently. Parental child abduction is not considered a crime in Japan."

The story begins in the Nashville suburb of Franklin, Tennessee, with the January divorce of Savoie from his first wife, Noriko, a Japanese native. The ex-wife had agreed to live in Franklin to be close to the children, taking them to Japan for summer vacations.

Savoie in March requested a restraining order to prevent his ex-wife from taking the children to Japan, saying she had threatened to do so, according to court documents obtained by CNN affiliate WTVF and posted on the station's Web site. A temporary order was issued, but then lifted following a hearing.

"If Mother fails to return to Tennessee [after summer vacation] with the children following her visitation period, she could lose her alimony, child support and education fund, which is added assurance to Father that she is going to return with the children," Circuit Court Judge James G. Martin III noted in his order on the matter.

After that ruling, Christopher Savoie tried to have Martin recuse himself, as he was a mediator in the case prior to becoming a judge, said Marlene Eskind Moses, Noriko Savoie's attorney. But that request was denied, as Savoie earlier said he had no concerns about Martin hearing the matter.

Following the summer trip, Noriko Savoie did return to the United States, and Christopher Savoie then took the children on a vacation, returning them to his ex-wife, his attorney, Paul Bruno, told CNN. Video Watch latest report on Savoie's situation.

But days later, on the first day of classes for 8-year-old Isaac and 6-year-old Rebecca, the school called Savoie to say his children hadn't arrived, Bruno said. Police checked Noriko Savoie's home and did not find the children.

Concerned, Savoie called his ex-wife's father in Japan, who told him not to worry.

"I said, 'What do you mean -- don't worry? They weren't at school.' 'Oh, don't worry, they are here,' " Savoie recounted the conversation to CNN affiliate WTVF earlier this month. "I said, 'They are what, they are what, they are in Japan?' "

The very thing that Savoie had predicted in court papers had happened -- his wife had taken their children to Japan and showed no signs of returning, Bruno said.

After Noriko Savoie took the children to Japan, Savoie filed for and received full custody of the children, Bruno said. And Franklin police issued an arrest warrant for his ex-wife, the television station reported.

But there was a major hitch: Japan is not a party to the 1980 Hague Convention on international child abduction. The international agreement standardizes laws, but only among participating countries.

So while Japanese civil law stresses that courts resolve custody issues based on the best interest of the children without regard to either parent's nationality, foreign parents have had little success in regaining custody.

Japanese family law follows a tradition of sole custody divorces. When a couple splits, one parent typically makes a complete and lifelong break from the children.

In court documents filed in May, Noriko Savoie denied that she was failing to abide by the terms of the couple's court-approved parenting plan or ignoring court-appointed parent coordinators. She added she was "concerned about the stability of Father, his extreme antagonism towards Mother and the effect of this on the children."

Noriko Savoie could not be reached by CNN for comment.

Bruno said he helped Christopher Savoie pursue legal remedies to recover the children, working with police, the FBI and the State Department.

"We tried to do what we could to get the kids back," Bruno said. "There was not a whole lot we can do."

"Our court system failed him," said Diane Marshall, a court-appointed parent coordinator who helped Savoie make decisions about the children. "It's just a mess."

But Moses, Noriko Savoie's attorney, told CNN that the children's father had other legal options.

The International Association for Parent-Child Reunion, formed in Japan this year, claims to know of more than 100 cases of children abducted by non-custodial Japanese parents.

And the U.S. State Department says it is not aware of a single case in which a child taken from the United States to Japan has been ordered returned by Japanese courts -- even when the left-behind parent has a U.S. custody decree.

Facing such statistics and the possibility of never seeing his kids again, Savoie took matters into his own hands.

He flew to Fukuoka. And as his ex-wife walked the two children to school Monday morning, Savoie drove alongside them.

He grabbed the kids, forced them into his car, and drove off, said police in Fukuoka.

He headed for the U.S. consulate in that city to try to obtain passports for Isaac and Rebecca.

But Japanese police, alerted by Savoie's ex-wife, were waiting.

Consulate spokeswoman Tracy Taylor said she heard a scuffle outside the doors of the consulate. She ran up and saw a little girl and a man, whom police were trying to talk to.

Eventually, police took Savoie away, charging him with the abduction of minors -- a charge that carries a jail sentence of up to five years.

Bruno said if the situation were reversed and a Japanese parent had abducted a Japanese child and fled to America, U.S. courts would "correct that problem, because it's a crime."

He said he has "concerns about Japan ... providing a place for people to abduct children and go to. The parent left behind does not have recourse." He added, "the president and his administration should do something to correct this."

The consulate met with Savoie on Monday and Tuesday, Taylor said. It has provided him with a list of local lawyers and said it will continue to assist.
advertisement

Meanwhile, the international diplomacy continues. During the first official talks between the United States and Japan's new government, the issue of parental abductions was raised.

But it is anybody's guess what happens next to Savoie, who sits in a jail cell.

CNN's Kyung Lah in Tokyo, Japan, and Aaron Cooper, Saeed Ahmed and Carolina Sanchez in Atlanta, Georgia, contributed to this report.

Atlanta Fathers Rights Lawyer Family Law Attorney Georgia

2009-09-22T08:03:00.001-04:00

Top Ten Things Divorced Dads Need to Realize

2009-09-22T07:51:00.000-04:00

by: Joel Schwartzberg

Top Ten Things Divorced Dads Need to Realize

It seems like a new celebrity father gets divorced every week. Recent divorced dads include Jon Gosselin, Robin Williams, Usher, Mel Gibson, Bradley Whitford, Edward Furlong, and Thomas Jane -- and those are just the famous ones. Roughly half of all American marriages end in divorce and some studies suggest 60% of those splits involve children.

But while there's abundant advice directing divorced fathers to avoid "screwing up" the kids, 2009-07-23-dads.jpgthere's little out there to help dads appreciate the big parenting opportunity -- yes, opportunity -- before them.

Below are, IMHO, the ten most important things divorced fathers should realize as they transition parentally from "Husband and Father" to "One-and-Only Dad":

1) You divorced your ex, not your kids

Many divorced dads disconnect from their kids when they separate from their ex-wives, but the divorce can actually be an opportunity to re-connect with your children -- this time on your own terms.

2) The only parenting expectations worth a damn are your own

Divorce freed you from not only your ex-wife's expectations, but those of your parents, her parents, Dr. Phil, and all those dads you see talking joyously about fatherhood on television. You're the expert when it comes to your kids. Create your own expectations and standards.

3) There's no such thing as a part-time dad

You're either a dad or you're not. Many divorced dads spend more time with their kids than fathers in intact families. But no matter how much time you spend with your children, if you commit to it regularly and responsibly, you're a dad. Period. Exclamation point.

4) You are not a babysitter

There's no need to constantly take your children on expensive adventures, shower them with gifts, or keep them perpetually entertained, as if filling a perceived hole in their happiness. They are just as happy to simply be with you as you are to be with them.

5) Your children have two homes...and two sets of rules

Your kids don't "visit" you; they live with you. They have one home with Mom and another with Dad. And if they can adapt themselves to different rules between home and school, they can do the same between home and home. The phrase "But Mom lets us" carries no weight in your home.

6) You have an "inner dad"

There's an "inner dad" inside you. He's the one who tells you when it's OK to let your son stay up late, when it's appropriate to be interrupted on the phone by a whining daughter, and whether a tense situation calls for stern rules or just an all-out, no-shoes family wrestling match. You'll get to know that inner dad gradually, moment by moment, and in the process become a more genuine dad -- the best kind of dad you can be.

7) Most kids can cope

Divorce doesn't necessarily mean therapy time for your kids. Studies show that many children cope well with divorce, especially if there's joint custody and the kids are encouraged to openly express their feelings and fears. When I got divorced, a quick internet search told me I was ruining both my and my children's lives. But it didn't go down like that -- in fact, I now feel like a better dad than I've ever been and I've stopped treating Google like my conscience.

8) You can do what you like

Too many moms and dads feel martyrdom is a necessary part of the parenting process. Find those things that you and your children honestly enjoy together -- going to the movies, having cart-races at Kmart, bowling, or impulsively getting pizza in the mid-afternoon. Your children love nothing more than watching you enjoy yourself with them. And it's way more fun than standing on the playground sidelines checking your Blackberry, isn't it?

9) Your issues with the ex don't belong in your kids' lives

Like the corn and mashed potatoes on your first-grader's plate, your parenting should be separated from any conflicts you have with your ex. Children need to know their parents' love is unconditional and impenetrable, even and especially in the face of something as potentially devastating as divorce.

10) You'll screw up...and that's okay.

Making mistakes is as fundamental in parenting as making dinner. Own up to them -- your kids will learn that they can too.

Joel Schwartzberg is a father of three, an award-winning essayist, and author of the first-of-its kind collection of personal essays from the perspective of a divorced father, "The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad"

Court knew man jailed for a year for non-support was not child's father

2009-07-14T22:51:00.001-04:00

By BILL RANKIN

Frank Hatley has languished in a South Georgia jail for more than a year.

The reason? He failed to reimburse the state for all the public assistance his “son” received over the past two decades.

The problem? Hatley is not the biological father -- and a special assistant state attorney general and a judge knew it but jailed Hatley anyway.

“I feel bad for the man,” Cook County Sheriff Johnny Daughtrey said Tuesday. “Put yourself in that man’s shoes: If it wasn’t your child, would you want to be paying child support for him?”

Daughtrey said he hopes a hearing Wednesday will resolve the matter. Hatley has been held at the county jail in Adel since June 25, 2008, costing the county an estimated $35 to $40 a day.

Even after learning he was not the father, Hatley paid thousands of dollars the state said he owed for support. After losing his job and becoming homeless, he still made payments out of his unemployment benefits.

Hatley’s lawyer, Sarah Geraghty of the Southern Center for Human Rights in Atlanta, said two independent DNA tests -- one nine years ago and one just a few days ago -- prove he is not the biological father.

“This is a case of excessive zeal to recover money trumping common sense,” she said. “What possible legitimate reason can the state have to pursue Mr. Hatley for child support when he does not have any children?”

It may be difficult for Hatley to get out from under the court order, said Atlanta family lawyer Randall Kessler, who is not associated with the case. “It’s definitely unfair,” Kessler said. “But at the same time, he’s dealing with a valid court order.”

Russ Willard, a spokesman for the state attorney general, said if Hatley can show at the hearing that he is indigent, the state will not oppose his release.

Willard said Hatley could have applied to the state Office of Child Support Services to request that he be relieved of his obligations. He said Hatley has not made such a request.

According to court filings, Hatley was never told that he could have a court-appointed lawyer if he could not afford one. Geraghty said she only recently took on Hatley as a client after the sheriff asked her to talk to Hatley about his predicament.

Geraghty said Hatley had paid a total of $9,524.05 in support since April 1995, but records of payments before that time are not available.

In the 1980s, Hatley had a relationship with Essie Lee Morrison, who became pregnant, had a baby boy and told Hatley the child was his, according to court records. The couple never married and split up shortly after Travon was born in 1987.

In 1989, Morrison applied for public assistance through the state Department of Human Resources. The state then moved to get Hatley to reimburse the cost of Travon’s support, and Hatley agreed because he believed Travon was his son.

But in 2000, DNA samples from Hatley and Travon showed the two were not related, according to a court records.

With the help of a Georgia Legal Services lawyer, Hatley went to court and was relieved of his responsibility to pay future child support. But he still had to deal with being a deadbeat dad when it was assumed that he was really the dad.

Homerville lawyer Charles Reddick, working as a special assistant state attorney general, prepared an order requiring Hatley to pay the $16,398 he still owed the state for child support.

The Aug. 21, 2001 order, signed by Cook County Superior Court Judge Dane Perkins, acknowledges that Hatley was not Travon’s father.

After that, Hatley paid almost $6,000. But last year he was laid off from his job unloading charcoal grills from shipping containers. He became homeless and lived in his car. Still, Hatley made some child support payments using his unemployment benefits.

By May 2008, he apparently had not paid enough. In another order prepared by Reddick and signed by Perkins, Hatley was found in contempt and jailed. When he is released, the order said, Hatley must continue making payments to the state at a rate of $250 a month.

How To Win A Custody Case

2009-05-22T18:36:00.000-04:00

Because of our tremendous success in the field of Georgia Father’s Rights, I am often asked what I do to “win” a difficult custody case.

The reality is, every successful attorney who wins fathers’ rights cases, simply manages the facts and presents the case to the judge. We argue positions that other attorneys are not willing to argue. However, the most important aspect of winning a fathers’ rights case is the client. There is no attorney in the world that can turn bad facts into a good case. If you left your wife, moved to another state, have not seen your children in years, and have not paid any child support in years, you will most likely not get custody.

On the other hand, if you have been involved in your children’s lives, and care more about the children than about hurting their mother, there is no reason for the court to assume that you are less of a candidate for a primary custodian than the mother.

The hardest cases to try are those where the father is as good of a parent as the mother. There is not really anything negative about either parent, and each wants custody. These are also the most difficult cases for judges to hear. How do they decide who should get custody? I attempt to “tell the story” of my client through collateral witness, through the children, through the use of the Guardian ad Litem, through neighbors, school counselors and other professionals who can attest to the benefit the children have had from having an involved father.

Another difficult case is where the father really is a better parent, but it is difficult to prove. The Mother may have been the stay-at-home primary caretaker, but she is not really doing a good job. The children still have all of their arms and legs, but they are not receiving the emotional nurturing and support they need. She feeds them fast food, although she does not work outside of the home. She sleeps all day, and does not keep up the house. Her days are spent sleeping, or attending tennis clinics or spa appointments, and the children are an afterthought. The Mother wants custody, but mostly because she needs the child support. These kinds of cases baffle my clients. They know they are the better parent, but they need help proving it. That is where an experienced attorney can make a difference.

The bottom line is - it really is an uphill battle for Fathers most of the time. I think this can be attributed to Fathers’ rights advocates who talk the talk but do not walk the walk. I recently represented a Mother, where the Father had been trying to reinstate his parenting rights after having been arrested 100 times, driving the 10 year old child around to buy drugs in hotel room, and abandoning the child at a bus stop and calling the mother to pick him up after he had left the child. The “Fathers’ Rights attorney” in his closing argument, eloquently stated how the presumption for fathers should be for joint custody, at which point, everyone in the courtroom rolled their eyes. That particular father was not exactly a cause the attorney should have gotten behind. It destroys credibility in the eyes of the court. Needless to say, that Father is still prohibited from seeing his child.

The only way to “win” a custody case is this: be a good father at all times, even when the mother makes it difficult. Spend quality time with your children. Help them with their homework, take them on educational experiences. Don’t be a Disneyland dad. If you are a good father, then others will see it. That way, when it is time to go to court, you will have no shortage of witnesses to testify about your exemplary parenting skills. That makes my job easier.

Sex issue resolved: Bynum-Weeks marriage over

2008-06-20T14:40:00.000-04:00

Sex issue resolved: Bynum-Weeks marriage over
By D. AILEEN DODD
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 06/20/08

The stormy marriage of ministers Juanita Bynum and Thomas Weeks III — temporarily calmed by a night of passion — ended this morning in a Gwinnett County courtroom.
A divorce was finalized for the couple at 10:45 a.m before Judge Debra Turner.
Both Bynum and Weeks expressed relief and a measure of joy that marriage, marked by a spectacular wedding, a high—profile ministry and a parking lot beat down, was over.
"It has been a long-awaited moment," said Bynum after the court hearing. "I had already made my [peace] with it."
Weeks, on probation for assaulting Bynum last summer, said he will always have a "special love" for her, but he is moving on.,
"I feel like it's a new day — a brand new life, a brand new time," Weeks said.
Bynum agreed to pay $40,000 of Weeks' attorney fees. They will keep individual assets they had before the marriage. Bynum wants to retrieve some personal items in Weeks possession, including a harp and sculpture.
Weeks a gets a 2004 Land Rover. And he pays any credit card debt in his name.
No alimony was granted.
The couple left the courtroom separately. They only said hello to each other before the hearing.
Before the final decree, the divorce proceeding was interrupted after Bynum revealed that the couple had sex last August after they had separated.
It was not revealed if conjugal connection happened after Weeks assaulted Bynum in a hotel parking lot last summer. Turner left the courtroom to research whether the divorce could be granted under Georgia law, which, in part, sees sex by separated couples as a act of reconciliation.
"My understanding is you can no longer have marital relations based on the date of separation that you file," Turner said.
Randy Kessler, Weeks' attorney, said that the couple had been living in separation and that Bynum filed for divorce after the sexual encounter.
"The fact that they had sex before she filed for divorce is an amendable defect," said Kessler, meaning the conjugal coupling should not void the divorce.
After the recess, Turner agreed to push the date of separation up to September to circumvent the reconciliation issue.
Weeks strolled into the Gwinnett County Justice and Administration Center around 9:30 a.m. with a smile on his face. He was flanked by two supporters, one of them his personal assistant.
Bynum, who arrived just before 10 am., said "I'm doing well, I feel great. It's not a sad thing."
She said she doesn't have any time to take off and heal from the divorce. She has been made a regular adviser on television's "Divorce Court," and two weeks ago, she was permanently added to the cast of "Lincoln Heights," an ABC network series featuring multicultural families. The prime time show airs on Mondays.
"I'm excited," she said.
Bynum, a nationally-known evangelist and Weeks, pastor of a once-large and prosperous church in Duluth, appeared to be a match made in heaven. But not even prayer could keep them together in the end.
Both pastors have accused each other of violence, however Weeks was the only one to face charges for it. In March, Weeks, leader of Global Destiny Ministries, pleaded guilty to aggravated assault charges for pushing, kicking and beating Bynum in the parking lot of the Renaissance Concourse Hotel in Atlanta last summer.
Bynum filed for divorce on the basis of cruel treatment soon after the August 2007 attack. The couple had already been separated for several months at the time.
Weeks and Bynum wed in an elaborate televised ceremony six years ago. They built a church and international ministry together in Duluth, but busy work schedules, financial troubles and alleged incidents of spousal abuse eventually severed their union.
Some followers of the couple, though, had prayed they would reconcile.
However, in the tell-all book on his love life with Bynum "What Love Taught Me" Weeks, who was sentenced to three years probation and community services for assaulting Bynum, accepts some responsibility for the downfall of his marriage. He said he was a "workaholic" who hadn't really learned to relax and lighten up.
"I am a very private person — somewhat introverted," Weeks wrote in his book. "I lack personality in many ways ... I was always serious, focused and nerdish ... maybe that was one of my great downfalls in developing relationships."
Weeks said Bynum was his polar opposite — outgoing and funny. But because she was so devoted to her ministry, he often felt lonely when she traveled on the job. Weeks said he missed the "connection" he had with his wife as a friend and a lover when she was gone preaching.
"I worked, worked, worked and worked to avoid feeling lonely," Weeks wrote in his book. Weeks said in his book there were "countless" women around him at church that offered to meet his needs, but he said he refrained from straying because of his faith and commitment to his church. "I have a legacy I have to carry out," he said.
Weeks said in his book he and his wife never became "best friends" because of their separate lives. He said Bynum would discuss their problems with others instead of keeping things quiet.
"I didn't call my mother and father and tell them about the problems we were having," he said.
Bynum, who has been divorced before, said during an appearance on Fox TV's Divorce Court that she tried to live with the problems in her troubled marriage.
"You are trained in the traditional sense of religion to be the person that is always fine," Bynum said. "I found myself trying to live up to that ... I didn't want to look stupid."
But after the attack, Bynum said she could no longer pretend that she was happily married. She said she got so depressed afterwards, she considered suicide. "Suicide crossed my mind, jumping out of the window crosses your mind," Bynum said. "I felt hopeless."
Divorce will not close the chapter on the couple's problems altogether.
It could open up new wounds for them and their followers. Healing could take some time for everyone, says David Key, director of Baptist Studies at Emory University's Candler School of Theology.
"A divorce is like any kind of loss," said Key. "There is a grieving process."

Single parents create happy new homes after divorce

2008-06-01T19:39:00.000-04:00

Single parents create happy new homes after divorce

By H.M. CAULEY Atlanta Journal-Constitution Published on: 05/29/08

With the divorce rate hovering around 50 percent, it's no surprise that many of Stephanie Andrews' design clients find themselves starting over again. Unlike the recent grad who's just rented a new apartment or newlyweds moving into a starter home, the newly single often come with bits and pieces of their past to sort through, as well as a passion to put their own imprint on their surroundings quickly.

"There's so much psychology that goes into designing a home," said Andrews, owner of the Candler Park-based Balance Design. "Newly single people want to explore who they are and put that in their house. It's a chance for them to show their own personal style."
There's also something liberating about putting together a home without anyone else's approval. "They have full control and there's no need for compromise, which is very freeing for them," said Andrews. "They can have fun. About the only compromise they may have to make ends up being the cost."

For divorced parents, there's the additional desire to make a house a home very quickly for the children. And there are considerations such as where the family will spend time together. Where will the kids do their homework?
Here's a peek inside three Atlanta residences where single parents have put their own style on a new space.

Getting more for less in Doraville
Graphic designer Gabrielle LeBlanc's post-divorce budget made finding a new home in her 8-year-old's school district a challenge. But after 18 months in a Dunwoody apartment, she uncovered a 1960s brick ranch in Doraville that needed a bit of TLC."I knew I could make it work," she said.

LeBlanc ripped out carpeting and refinished the wood floors. She painted the trim and ceilings; installed new light fixtures; and added her own small details, such as replacing the wall switch covers. Her thriftiness extended to the furnishings. An inexpensive, three-tiered chandelier she found at IKEA got an upgrade when she added rows of crystals. A friend donated her kids' old crayon-covered art table that LeBlanc refinished to show off the wood. Instead of payment for a job, she traded her work for a futon. And she picked up some framed artworks for $1 at a yard sale.

LeBlanc scoured stores for decor deals and snagged several. A crescent-shaped table with repairable scratches was $90 at Ballard Designs. A low, glass-fronted buffet in the red dining room came from Crate and Barrel. A green suede sofa was a steal from World Market. Inexpensive cube shelving from IKEA created a storage unit for her son's toys.
LeBlanc warmed the house with personal items. Framed photos of New Orleans, her hometown, line the halls. A portrait of her grandmother, painted by her grandfather on their wedding day, graces her home office.
"I wanted a fresh slate," said LeBlanc. "And I liked being able to create my own space without having to ask anyone's permission."

Kids come first in Avondale Estates
Attorney Sheryl McCalla gave her real estate agent a short list of requirements when she went house shopping five years ago. She wanted to be close to her job in Midtown and near the intown school that her two children attend. Though the three-bedroom house in Avondale Estates wasn't an exact fit, McCalla knew it was a terrific place to start over after a divorce.
"I was looking for a family friendly house in a nice neighborhood," said McCalla. "Here, we can walk to the pool and playground and I have the support of other parents in the neighborhood."
The 1950s house had already undergone an extensive renovation, including the addition of a second floor and an open kitchen and family room. "That was key, because I wasn't in a position to do that kind of work," said McCalla.
In the large foyer, the base of the staircase leads to the second floor and into the family room as well. A former living room, with a fireplace, is now the red dining room. McCalla turned the old glass-enclosed porch into the art room, where her kids are free to paint on the walls, floors or windows as their creativity moves them.
The expanded kitchen has cherry cabinets and an island where the kids can do their homework while McCalla cooks. A corner eating area has a banquette for cozy seating. An adjacent small room holds all of the kids' toys and several musical instruments, while a former first-floor bedroom is now the TV room.
McCalla decorated her son's room with a space theme and had an artist paint her daughter's favorite flowers and garden scenes around her bed.
The move meant buying all new furniture. "The only things I had were a king-sized bed, two night stands, a dresser and an exercise bike," said McCalla. But she took her time tracking down the large wood dining table, with chairs and bench seating; a beige sofa and two chocolate chairs around the family room fireplace; and a round dining table in the breakfast nook.
The kids' artwork on various walls and framed playbills from New York shows that McCalla's parents collected are constant reminders of family connections.
"Simplicity was my goal," said McCalla. "But it was also important to make the house comfortable. And it had to feel like home."

At home at Dad's

Attorney Doug Kertscher started his search for a post-divorce house for his two young children by drawing a 10-mile circle around their primary residence. The perfect place turned up in the form of a 6-year-old house in Morningside.
"The house had been well-maintained, which was important because I work a lot of long hours, and I didn't want to have my children with me while I was fixing the roof," said Kertscher.
The three-story house came with enough open spaces for his children to run around and several areas that double as adult and kid areas. In the library, book shelves are lined with Dad's collection on the top rows; all of the kids' favorites are within their short reach below. A large rectangular ottoman opens to reveal a toy chest.
Kertscher was also insistent that the bedrooms be on the same level so the children would be close by. "And I wanted their rooms to have neat things," he said. In his boy's room, there's an outdoor theme with stars on the ceiling, star lights and camping knick-knacks. His daughter's room, painted in pinks and greens, has stick-on fairies and her name on the walls. The third level of the house has one big room outfitted with a desk and computer, including two kid-sized chairs that double as recliners. Another corner holds a drawing area and chalk boards where the kids can get creative.
A sun room houses the entertainment center in front of an over-sized chaise lounge big enough Kertscher and his tykes. "This is where we do our night-time reading," he said.
Kertscher furnished the house with new pieces, including the large-screen plasma on the wall of the living area, and what he describes as "strong, male colors."
"They're blues and grays, with some greens and reds, that are strong but still warm," he said.
Most of his attention was devoted to creating a home that was functional for him while also being a comfort zone for his kids.
"It was very important to have a place where they'd want to come," he said. "They love coming to Daddy's house; sometimes they'd rather come here than go to the park. And I've been really happy about that."

Tips for making a house a home fast:
• Instead of ordering furniture, ask about buying a floor sample that you can take home immediately. Not only can you get it right away, you may get a discount.
• Shop for ready-made items, such as curtains, drapes and bedding that can punch up a room in minutes.
• The biggest bang for your makeover buck is color. Select a color scheme that will flow throughout the house and make you feel good every time you enter.
• Make it personal by displaying your favorite items that have good memories.

Wife and teen groom denied custody of child

2008-05-06T19:23:00.001-04:00

Wife and teen groom denied custody of child

Details of settlement not made public

By CHANDLER BROWN, KEN SUGIURA

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Published on: 05/05/08

Lisa Clark Gonzalez's bid to gain custody of the baby she had with her teenage boyfriend was settled Tuesday, but details weren't immediately available."They did not get custody, but they are pleased with today's developments," said Jan Young, Lisa Gonzalez' publicist.Attorneys for Gonzalez and Angela Perkins, Gonzalez' one-time friend and co-worker who has custody of the boy, reached a temporary decision on custody prior to a scheduled hearing at the Douglas County Courthouse. The lawyers will continue to negotiate the rights of both sides and the child.Young said the Gonzalezes did not have more comment on the advice of their attorney.

Citing the same instructions, Perkins also declined comment; her attorney, Andrea Molodovan, did not return two phone calls seeking comment."We would appreciate having some privacy for the family," said the attorney, Kim Dymecki, who declined to provide any further details of the agreement, which will be filed with the Superior Court in Douglas County.Tuesday morning, after Dymecki, Moldovan and Christy Draper, an attorney assigned to represent the boy's interests, informed Superior Court Judge Robert J. James of their decision, Dymecki and her clients fled the courthouse with a raft of TV photographers in their wake. Dymecki later described it as a "circus.""We all must remember there is a child at the center of this case," she said.

The case has caught the attention of metro Atlantans since Lisa Clark, then 37, Adrian Gonzalez, then 15 and a friend of her teenage son, got married after she became pregnant. Clark later served time for statutory rape and for helping Gonzalez escape a group home in DeKalb County. She delivered the baby, Skye Cobain Gonzalez, while in jail. After Lisa Conzalez was released from prison in February, she rejoined her husband and they now live with a friend near Gwinnett Place Mall in Duluth. Wife and husband are now 39 and 17, respectively.According to court records, Skye has been living with Perkins, who took care of the child when Gonzalez was in prison. Listing more than 12 reasons in court documents why Lisa and Adrian Gonzalez were unfit parents, Perkins has sought full custody.Dymecki expected an uphill battle. Monday, while saying she hoped for her clients to gain full custody of their son, she said that "at this point, we'll take whatever we can get."

Signs in Decatur point to marriage in trouble

2008-04-18T22:30:00.001-04:00

Signs in Decatur point to marriage in trouble
By MICHELLE HISKEY
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Published on: 04/19/08

The signs of Rob and Karen Byers' marriage have been bleak the past three months.He's been living apart from her and their 1-year-old son.Last week, morning commuters near Emory University passed dozens of these signs posted by Rob Byers. "I made a big mistake," he says of what led to their separate homes in Decatur.They've been married for 11 years, college friends for a decade before. They were the quiet pair who always hung back at parties.

He's 38 and still in his head too much.She's 39, angry and confused by him, long wanting more emotion from him.In an effort to come home, he dreamed up something really big.
"I'm going to surprise you tomorrow," he told her by phone one night early last week. "And you're really going to like it."
The first yellow signs were stuck under her car wiper blades."Rob Loves Karen.""Karen I'm Sorry."Perplexed, she drove off — along the same route she takes every morning to her favorite bagel shop.

The same six words shouted from telephone poles along busy Clairmont and North Druid Hills roads. Along this popular commuting route to Emory University, the posters burst in the color of war ribbons.
He was wrong: She didn't really like it.At all.Have a loved one's best intentions ever ended up making you even madder? Then you know how she felt.

"Totally freaked," she said. "I felt like it was advertising to the world we had problems. I felt embarrassed that that was thrown out into the world. These are things I have only told a handful of close friends."
She tore down the first few, but "there were so, so many and the baby was in the car, I knew I was getting nowhere."She thought back on their pattern: his bad timing, her disappointment.
"It was like when he proposed," she says. "I was weak and in bed with a cold, and he got me out of bed and I was in my bathrobe when asked me. And I was furious that this is what I would remember forever."

He was at work when she called to vent about the posters: "If that was a surprise, it was really lame!"Her view changed after she talked to friends, who urged her to see his gestures as sweet and romantic, if misguided.

He did express how he felt, just not the way she ever imagined.Making something private so public opened up her eyes to a hidden truth."People have been so supportive and opened up," she says. "Everyone has problems even though they act like everything is fine."
Even though they don't know exactly where their marriage is headed or how they will get there, after all this, they realize that neither wants to give up.And both agree that's a good sign.

Sperm of soldier killed in Iraq frozen for widow

2008-04-09T19:01:00.001-04:00

Sperm of soldier killed in Iraq frozen for widow
ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- A soldier's widow has succeeded in having sperm taken from his body and frozen four days after he was slain in Iraq, though medical experts said it's highly unlikely she would be able to bear his child.
Sgt. Dayne Darren Dhanoolal, 26, died March 31 when an explosive detonated near his vehicle in Baghdad. He had talked often with his wife, Kynesha, about having children, according to court papers filed by her lawyer.

On Friday, a federal judge in Columbus, Georgia, granted her request for a temporary restraining order preventing the military from embalming the body until samples of Dhanoolal's sperm were extracted. The samples were taken later that day and are in the custody of a medical representative for the widow, who is hoping to be inseminated, even though fertility experts said the procedure almost certainly would not work with her late husband's sperm.
"It's not viable," Dr. Andrew McCullough, associate professor at the New York University School of Medicine, said Monday.

Sperm maintain nearly normal movement and some function for the first three hours after a man's death. After that, their movement and viability declines, according to the Web site for the department of urology at Cornell University's Joan and Sanford I. Weill Medical College.
Dr. John Park, a fertility expert and assistant professor at Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta, said there have been reports of viable sperm being retrieved up to 36 hours after a man's death. But he said it is "highly unlikely" any viable sperm could be retrieved four days later.

Recovery of viable sperm appears relatively uncommon after 24 hours post-mortem unless the body has been cooled, the Cornell site says. It was not known what, if any, precautions were taken to keep Dhanoolal's body sufficiently cool before his sperm were extracted. Despite the odds, Kynesha Dhanoolal persuaded the judge to allow the sperm to be collected. Dhanoolal did not have a will but had signed a military form designating his mother, Monica Brown, to handle the disposition of his remains.

His widow asserted in court papers that Brown initially did not agree with her wishes. However, "There's no battle anymore," Kynesha Dhanoolal said Monday after speaking with her mother-in-law over the weekend.
The widow's attorney, Frank Myers, said emotions got in the way of reaching an agreement earlier. Now, "I think everybody is on the same page," he said. Brown did not return two calls to her Killeen, Texas, home on Monday. As of Monday, no agreement had been filed with the court, which will determine who gets possession of the sperm.

"Hopefully, the peace will last and everybody will be happy in the end," Myers said. Sgt. Dhanoolal was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 69th Armor Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division at Fort Benning, in west Georgia. Fort Benning spokeswoman Monica Manganaro said she was not aware of another time where the widow of a soldier stationed at the base made such a request.

"This is strictly a personal choice of the family and not something we're involved with," Manganaro said. Dhanoolal's body was to be flown Monday from Dover Air Force Base in Delaware to Texas, where a funeral is planned this Friday, according to the widow's family. The widow's mother, Yvonne Watkins, said her daughter hopes to use her husband's sperm for artificial insemination as early as this summer. "We're trying to honor my daughter and Darren's wishes," Watkins said. "All of his comrades and anyone who knew them knew he wanted children."

Custody dispute pits famed producer against Roswell mom

2008-03-27T21:41:00.000-04:00

By D.L. BENNETT

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Published on: 03/26/08
Under the professional name "BT," Brian Transeau has produced Sting and Madonna.
He has scored major motion pictures like "Monster," "Stealth" and "The Fast and the Furious." He's written sound tracks for Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005 and other video games.
And his reputation for blending technology and rhythm have earned his albums a cult-like following.
But for the past few months, Transeau, 37, has gotten more attention for a bitter family feud with a Roswell woman, Karen Durrett, and her daughter, Ashley Duffy. It centers on the break-up of Transeau and Duffy's long relationship and custody and care of their 3-year-old daughter.
Atlanta has become the latest battleground for a struggle that's already wound its way through courts in Maryland and California.

Transeau failed late Tuesday to convince a Fulton County magistrate judge that Durrett should be kept away from his daughter. But Judge Karen Woodson gave lawyers for both sides a week to work out an order keeping the artist and Durrett apart.

"I'm asking everybody here to stop with all the blogs," Woodson said, "to stop all the e-mails, to have no have discussions at all. Nobody goes on 'Montel.' Nothing."
Transeau claimed Tuesday that he feared for his life from Durrett, a Roswell mother of three. He claimed Durrett had threatened him on the phone and posted disturbing messages on the Internet over the past several months.

Transeau and Weinstock said the artist has reason to fear Durrett because of a past that includes years of battering her children, extensive alcohol and drug abuse.
Durrett said her 27-year-old daughter graduated from Roswell High School before meeting Transeau at a concert and eventually moving to Los Angeles.
She testified that she has reformed her life and is now a church-going suburban mother who is no danger to Transeau.

"I did not make any threats to Mr. Transeau," she said, explaining that any blog postings that seemed threatening were just a mother venting anger and not real threats.
Her lawyer, Jason Coffman, argued Transeau was using his client's past as a smear campaign to settle personal scores, not because she's dangerous.

A California court ordered Transeau and Duffy to share custody last year, testimony showed. But in mid-December, Duffy disappeared with the couple's toddler daughter after a custodial visit in Maryland.

Six weeks later, federal authorities, Transeau and private investigators he had hired found Duffy, their little girl and Durrett in a rented apartment in California, according to testimony. Transeau got his daughter back. Duffy was arrested, and said she spent four days in jail before being released without charges.

The couple continue to spar over custody in Los Angeles. Meanwhile, Transeau moved the battle to Atlanta because Durrett lives in Roswell.
Earliert his month, Transeau filed suit in Fulton County Superior Court against Durrett, accusing her of defamation and interference with custody.

The suit claims Durrett has damaged Transeau's ability to earn a living by waging a withering online attack on him and helping to arrange for Duffy to take his daughter earlier this year.
He claims some job opportunities have dried up because of postings Durrett placed on various blogs calling Transeau an abuser and someone who emotes "darkness and evil."

Forget silver anniversaries: Many couples grapple with 'gray divorce'

2008-03-26T15:04:00.001-04:00

Forget silver anniversaries: Many couples grapple with 'gray divorce'
By ELLEN LYON

Associated Press Published on: 03/24/08

It's been nearly a year since Sherman Smith's 33-year marriage ended in a divorce that, he said, his ex-wife wanted after she realized she didn't love him in the same way anymore. "A divorce is kind of like a death, but she's still there and I can't have her," said Smith, 55, of Elliottsburg, Pa. "I was really looking forward to retiring some day and spending more time with her." Smith has spent 18 months in a divorce support group. "I'm not 100 percent, but I'm pretty doggone good," he said. Annie, 69, of Enola, Pa., who didn't want her last name used, has been divorced since September after her husband of 47 years left her for an old high school flame. Annie said she had considered their marriage a happy one. Divorce simply wasn't in the realm of possibilities for them.

"It hit me in the face like a two-ton truck," she said. "I hadn't a clue. It was the most absolutely horrible thing that ever happened to me. I'm still not over it. I'll never be over it." Although the divorce rate is highest among men ages 30 to 34 and women ages 25 to 29, attorneys, marriage counselors and researchers say that increasingly, people in their 50s, 60s and 70s are grappling with what has come to be known as "gray divorce."

Higher incomes, advanced education and longer lives contribute to the trend, said Gordon Nelson, an associate professor of human development and family studies at Penn State. "People might be becoming increasingly more independent," he said. Mature people in long-term marriages often have multiple and complex reasons for calling it quits.

The '60s generation, more focused on happiness and personal fulfillment and less inhibited about divorce, is moving into its 60s, New Cumberland, Pa., psychologist and marriage and family therapist Sally Tice noted. And as people live longer "there's more years to think of putting up" with unhappy marriages, she said. Raising children can take a toll, too.

"It's very typical for couples to grow apart during the adolescent years of their children," Tice said. And if they haven't renewed their relationship, it can fall by the wayside. Carlisle, Pa., divorce and family law attorney Carol Lindsay identified one age-old reason for gray divorce: the midlife crisis. This temporary emotional upheaval is seldom referred to as such by anyone in the midst of one, and it's typically a male phenomenon, she said. "There's this vague longing. Mortality is calling," Lindsay said. "People throw over things they have. ... There's this sense that I missed something."

But it's not always true that older men find it easier to remarry, said Camp Hill attorney Corky Goldstein — whose oldest divorce client was 81 and "very, very unhappy" in a 44-year marriage. "If you don't really have any money, a man in his 70s is not going to attract a younger woman," he said. Yet, while divorce at midlife used to be more of a "male deal," increasingly women are initiating it, Lindsay said. A 2004 AARP study of persons who had divorced between the ages of 40 and 70 confirmed Lindsay's observations: 66 percent of the women surveyed said they had asked for the divorce, compared with 41 percent of the men.

Lindsay believes a different kind of midlife event is often at work with women who, for years, cared for their husband and children. "The hormone for taking care of people goes away and they're sick of it," she said. "They're just not in the nurturing mode any more." Sometimes it has to do with women getting jobs and having the money to leave, coupled with a softening of the taboo against divorce, Lindsay said. Gray divorces generally don't have the grueling, heart-rending custody issues common in younger couple's divorces, but they can be wrought with the complications of property ownership and division of assets.

In Smith's case, his ex-wife had her own pension plan, he said. Annie, a retired teacher, also has her own pension and Social Security, but she resents how the divorce has changed her financial situation. "When my husband and I were together we had enough money to do whatever we wanted and now I'm strapped," she said. Some older couples show their maturity in the way they handle their divorce. "Sometimes there are graceful older people and you are so grateful for them as clients," Lindsay said. "I always think a long marriage deserves to be honored with a

respectful divorce."

TIPS FOR SURVIVING DIVORCE IN LATER LIFE
• Join a support group.

• Develop same-sex friendships.

• Volunteer.

• Don't isolate yourself.

Seek out the medical, mental health and spiritual resources. • Give yourself time to grieve and heal.

• Consult an attorney and a financial adviser before signing any documents regarding marital assets. Choose an attorney who will advise you of your rights and represent your interests but who won't escalate matters beyond your comfort level. You both are going to want to attend the grandchildren's birthday parties.

Sources: DivorceCare support group leaders Beth and Wayne Janis, Mechanicsburg, Pa.; attorney Jeanne Costopoulos, Camp Hill, Pa., attorney Corky Goldstein.